Trying to Explain LOST

Have you tried explaining an episode of LOST to someone who hasn’t seen the show before? It’s probably easier to explain the theory of relativity to a six-year old. Here’s a little skit I did on how difficult this task is.

Tuesday, 8:58 pm, my apartment

(Doorbell Rings)

Friend: Hey John! What’s up buddy? I thought I’d stop by and see what you were up to.
Me: Just about to watch Lost actually…You watch it?
Friend: Nah. I’ve never seen it before. I heard it was good though. I’ll check it out.
Me: Ok. Well just shut the fuck up and don’t ask any questions. I’ll explain it to you during the commercials.
Friend: Ok. No problem.

Turns TV on…Cue high-pitched Lost intro

Five minutes into the episode…

Friend: So what’s the deal with this John Locke guy? He the leader or something?
Me: No. John Locke is dead.
Friend: What do you mean he’s dead? That sexy curly-haired chick just called that bald dude John Locke.
Me: Well yeah but that’s not really him. That’s the smoke monster taking the form of John Locke…and the chick’s name is Kate.
Friend: A smoke monster?
Me: Yeah. It’s this black smokey thing that lives on the island and kills everyone
Friend: Black smoke can kill people?
Me: Yup
Friend: Ooook. So this black smoke— that can somehow kill people—magically transforms into some dead guy and now everyone on the island is following him?
Me: That’s correct. Now shut the fuck up and stop asking me questions.
Friend: Ok. Sorry.

5 minutes later…

Friend: What’s up with this Claire chick? Why is she crazy?
Me: She’s infected.
Friend: What does she have? The flu?
Me: No. We don’t know what. She’s just crazy.
Friend: Ok and she’s buddies with the dead smoke monster guy.
Me: Yup
Friend: How ‘bout this fat dude? This guy Jacob is dead but he can talk to him? Why is he talking to dead people?
Me: Hurley can talk to dead people.
Friend: How the hell can he talk to dead people?
Me: I don’t know. He just can. It’s his thing.
Friend: That’s stupid….and this Asian dude can talk to dead people also?
Me: That’s Miles. No. Not exactly. He can only hear a dead person’s final thoughts before they die.
Friend: Ohhh ok. That’s seems plausible (in sarcastic tone)
Me: You gotta watch it from the beginning dude. Just trust me. Now PLEASE shut the hell up!
Friend: Ok. Ok. Sorry.

10 minutes later…

Friend: Ok…another question. Sorry. I’m confused. They just showed that Sawyer guy on the island and now he’s in LA. Is that like a flashback or something?
Me: No. It’s a flash sideways.
Friend: What the fuck is a flash sideways?
Me: It’s sorta like an alternate reality.
Friend: So…their like in another dimension or something?
Me: No. It’s basically what would have happened if the plane never crashed. At least that’s what I think. We’re not really sure.
Friend: Why would they show that? What does it matter what their lives would be like if the plane never crashed? Obviously it did crash because they are on this island.
Me: well yeah…it crashed but they may have reset the timeline in the season 5 finale.
Friend: How could they do that? They can travel in time? Like in Back to the Future when Biff stole Marty’s sports almanac and thus created an alternate 1985?
Me: Something like that. They can’t really travel in time. The island is moving through time.
Friend: Holy crap! This shit is confusing!
Me: I’ll explain everything in a second.

30 seconds later…( commercial comes on)

Me: Ok. It’s a commercial. Let me explain it to you. In season 4, the island was under attack by this British guy. So in order to protect the island, Ben pushed some wheel underground which moved the island through time. The people still on the island were then sent back to 1977. Then, three years later, the people who had escaped the island crashed a second time over the island. However, only some of them crashed in 1977, while a few of them were still in present time. Then Jack (the guy played by Matthew Fox) drops an atomic bomb in the ground, in order to neutralize a pocket of energy in hopes that it would change the future so they would never crash in the first place. That’s how we got to here. Got it?

Friend: No. I’m more confused than ever now. This show is retarded. Forget it. I’m just gonna go home and watch American Idol.

8 comments for “Trying to Explain LOST

  1. AuntBT
    March 24, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    Welcome to the conversation that is had after every episode of Lost in my office. I’m your friend, and half my office is you. I mainly do it just to scew with them. :)
    .-= AuntBT´s last blog ..I am actually about to do this? Oh yeah, I am. =-.

  2. E
    March 24, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    LMfO! I’ve watched LOST before but not from the beginning. yeah, ’tis very confusing
    .-= E´s last blog ..My bed of pain =-.

  3. Laura
    March 24, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    It kind of reminds me of the episode in S4 or S5 when Hurley tries to explain the island stuff to his mom and ends up sounding like a freaking nut job.

  4. ThatAintKosher
    March 25, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    I tried to explain the show to my Dad when I visited him (who’s never seen the show but is a big sci-fi fan) recently and the conversation went like this:

    Dad: So what is this show about, anyway?
    Me: Wait til the commercial, Dad. I don’t allow speaking.
    COMMERCIAL
    Dad: OK, so how is this show sci-fi?
    Me: Well, there’s a lot of time travelling, and this season, there’s an alternate universe in LA, as if the plane never crashed.
    Dad: (weird look) The island is in LA?
    Me: Well, we don’t know where it is. The flight was originally from Sydney to LA.
    Dad: So it’s somewhere in the South Pacific.
    Me: Well, that’s the thing, we don’t know. The island moves.
    Dad: (pause) The island moves?
    Me: It sounds weird, but you haven’t sen the show. I guarantee if you see one episode, you’ll be hooked.
    The next two minutes are filled with me attempting to explain the last five and a half seasons to one of the nine people on the planet who don’t watch the show.
    Dad: (another weird look) The island moves?
    Me: Whatever, Dad. Go watch your Star Trek and stop talking.

    Yeah, Lost is pretty confusing for people that don’t watch it, but this week’s Richard Alpert episode was the best episode of the series so far.
    .-= ThatAintKosher´s last blog ..Social Distortion =-.

  5. March 26, 2010 at 8:28 am

    I’ve watched the first couple episodes in the first season and plan on eventually watching this show… one day… when school is not an issue lol… But this was hilarious! Cheers.

  6. March 26, 2010 at 10:05 am

    Abid…If you’ve only seen the first couple episodes than you probably shouldn’t have read this! I hope I didn’t ruin it for you!

  7. Mr. Cleavage
    April 1, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    I miss Juliet…perky and natural Juliet… Gotta start watching ‘V’ now to get my fix…

  8. April 2, 2010 at 12:04 am

    @ Mr. Cleavage….I miss Juliet too…Speaking of cleavage, No one flashed more cleavage than Juliet in Lost.
    .-= John´s last blog ..Comment of the Month: March 2010 =-.

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