Since the beginning of time, men have used the hotness scale to rate how attractive a woman is when debating amongst friends. Using the standard 1- 10 ranking (with one being the ugliest woman imaginable and ten being a perfect woman), men have found an efficient way to judge women in the shallowest way possible.
However, over the years, the Hotness Scale has gotten too lenient. This is probably because each level has never been truly defined. We need to make a clear-cut definition of what each number means so that we can accurately judge women solely on their looks, while completely ignoring their personality.
The majority of men will brag they’ve been fortunate enough to get with at least one nine or ten in their lifetime but that is highly unlikely. Most women we meet and hook-up with will fall somewhere in the 4-6 range.
I’ve been with some fairly attractive women in my day but I doubt any of them can be considered higher than a seven. Even my wife probably falls within the 6-7 range. Knowing her, she would probably take offense that I only consider her a seven on a good day but as you’ll see with my rankings, seven is very good.
Here are the rankings defined…
THE GAG REFLEX
One and Two
Absolutely grotesque. FUGLY—as in FUCKING UGLY. Women who fall in this range probably weigh 300 pounds or more or have some major disfigurement. Women at this level are hard to look at, let alone get physical with.
THE ALCOHOL-AIDED STAGE
Pretty gross. Really no attractive feature whatsoever. It takes a number of alcoholic beverages and a long dry spell for a man to stoop to this level. I stooped to level three once and it’s something I am not proud of. We all have bad days though. The criteria mentioned in the previous sentence were present so I try not to beat myself up about it too much.
There isn’t much to be attracted to here but a man can be often be skewed to hook up with a four if he has had a few drinks or comes to the realization that he can’t do much better. A guy may hook up with a girl at this level but he won’t be bragging about it to his friends. A four could win the Nobel Prize, reveal that she was the Navy Seal who killed Osama bin Laden or find a cure for a cancer and a man still wouldn’t want to bring her out to meet his friends.
A four may be have one good feature that will convince a drunk or desperate man to overlook some other major flaws. For example she may have an ugly face but have huge tits…or she could be fat but give amazing head.
Your typical average-looking woman. Nothing really jumps out at you but nothing really turns you off. You won’t fantasize about being with a five but you’ll still be able to get your dick hard when fooling around with one. Typically this is the lowest a man will go on the hotness scale if he is of a straight mind.
A GOOD CATCH
A six is a better than average looking woman. She’ll often have one or two really attractive features that can mask some minor flaws. She may also be solid in every aspect but not really great in any, sort of like a super utility infielder in baseball. Most men would be happy to have a six. At this level, a man will be proud to bring a girl around to show off to his friends.
A seven is pretty hot. She typically has multiple attractive qualities with a few minor flaws. If you’re at a busy club or bar you’ll probably see a few sevens on a given night. A seven probably looks amazing when you see her out in person but if she were on television you probably wouldn’t even notice her. Most men will not get much higher than a seven in their lifetime.
An eight would probably be one of the hottest women you’ve ever met in person. An eight could have several very attractive features or could be solid in most aspects but have one feature that is so ridiculous that a guy will obsess over it (see Gianna Michaels pic above). A good example would be the sexiest girl in your high school class or maybe the girl at the club that every guy is hounding on the dance floor. There are probably a few eights in every town but not many more than that. At this level and higher, a guy is willing to put up with a lot more shit than he normally would. An eight could be a total cunt and a guy will deal with her (at least for a little while) because he is blinded by her beauty and bangin’ body.
A nine is a girl who is drop-dead gorgeous and is typically reserved for someone who is a super-model, actress or porn star. A nine is the total package (looks, ass, tits, shape). You won’t come across a nine in your everyday life very often. It takes a high level of maintenance (e.g. exercise, make-up, or even surgery to make a woman a nine). This is why it’s typically celebrities who are nines because they have the resources (e.g stylists, personal trainers, plastic surgeons) to keep themselves looking beautiful every time they step outside the house. You will probably never sniff a nine in your lifetime unless you are rich, a professional athlete or a rock star.
Tens are almost non-existent. It’s like trying to find a flawless diamond. It’s possible to find one but extremely rare. Even the best diamonds in the world have slight flaws and this is the case with women as well. Let’s take a look at some celebrities who are often considered ten on a loose scale but would fall just short on the much stricter Living with Balls scale.
Again, all these women are knockouts and I’m nitpicking a lot here but it is necessary to show you that tens are almost impossible to find.
So the next time your friend comes to you and claims to have slept with a “ten,” refer him to this article and then call bullshit.
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