Two years ago, I was struggling to decide on what team to bet in the Super Bowl so I decided to consult my good luck charm—my wife.  My wife, Mrs. Sacks, knows next to nothing about football.  Yet amazingly, she accurately predicted the Packers would defeat the Steelers in Super Bowl 45.   The next year I decided to try my luck again, and this time, she not only predicted that the Giants would cover the spread but that they would win outright over the Patriots in Super Bowl 46.

So here am I again trying to pick between two evenly-matched teams.  I’m having trouble deciding between the 49ers and the Ravens.  So for a third straight year, I’m looking to my wife, who doesn’t know the difference between a punt and field goal, to handicap the Super Bowl.  Here’s how the conversation went (This conversation is completely real).

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If you follow this site regularly, than you know that my wife and I recently purchased a home. Since our closing, something different has broken just about every month. Unfortunately, I am not the most handy person around.  But I am certainly one of the cheapest people.  So when it comes to hiring someone over fixing it myself, the home repair process usually goes something like this… (more…)

Actual wife not pictured

It’s Super Bowl week—which for many men is the most important gambling day of the year. The one question on gamblers’ minds everywhere is not who will win the game, but which team will cover the spread.

Last year, not knowing whom to pick, I consulted with my wife, who knows next to nothing about football, with the hopes she would be my good-luck charm.  Amazingly, not only did she accurately predict that the Packers would cover the spread but she nearly got the score of the game right.

So I decided to consult her once again in hopes that she could pick me another winner. Here’s how our conversation went… (more…)

It’s time for another edition of Unintentionally Funny Local Commercial—the original LWB feature where I find commercials that are so bad they are actually funny.

Today’s Unintentionally Funny Local Commercial comes from Gary’s Gutter Service. Gary’s Gutter Service offers a full line of gutter, chimney and roofing services to the Rockland County area in New York.

Gary decided the best way to promote his company was to do something that has never been done before: A cheesy rap by a white guy attempting to be hip.

Check out the video….

So…what are the key ingredients to a cheesy white guy rap commercial? Let’s go down the checklist and see if Gary’s Gutters meets the criteria… (more…)

It’s Super Bowl week—which for many men is the most important gambling day of the year. The one question on gamblers’ minds everywhere is not who will win the game, but which team will cover the spread?

This is a particularly hard year to bet on the Super Bowl because both teams seem to be evenly matched and the spread is small, with the Green Bay Packers favored by just 2 ½ points over the Pittsburgh Steelers.

If you’re struggling with who to bet on this coming Sunday then you’ve come to the right place.  I’m having a hard time picking this game myself, so I’ve decided to consult with my wife, Mrs. Sacks, and perhaps with her female intuition she can accurately predict which team will cover.  I sat down with my better half recently and asked her to break down the game like only she can.

Johnny Sacks: What are your initial thoughts about Pittsburgh?

Mrs. Sacks: I’ve been to Pittsburgh a few times and I don’t like it. It tries to be like Philadelphia but it’s not nearly as good.   I also hate that their fans wave those stupid towels and I don’t like that “Black and Yellow” song.

Johnny Sacks: I hate that song too.  I believe you are referring to the Terrible Towel.

Mrs. Sacks: Yes. Those things.  They’re stupid.

Johhny Sacks: How about Green Bay?  What do you think about them? (more…)

I’m a pretty hardcore baseball fan.  I’ve played and watched baseball my entire life and I love everything about it.  I’m willing to bet there aren’t many people out there into our national pastime more than I am.

I’ve attended my fair share of baseball games over the years and every time I go, I always see some actions by other fans that get under my skin.  Some people just don’t know the right way to watch a baseball game.  When I go to games with Mrs. Sacks or my brother, I complain about these things constantly.  I guess I just can’t understand how people don’t enjoy the game as much as me.

Because of this, I’ve created some rules to inform you less-passionate baseball fans out there the proper way to attend a ball game.

Rule #1: Leaving the game early is not allowed (There are only a few exceptions to this rule) (more…)

I’m getting married this week and that means I’ll be committing to one woman for the rest of my life—or does it? 

Like a lot of couples, my future wife and I have jokingly made a “cheat list.”  This cheat list contains a list of celebrities.  If by some chance we are presented with an opportunity to sleep with one of these five people, we are allowed to do so without any repercussions.

As part of the continuing wedding series, here is our official “cheat list.”  

Johnny Sacks’ List

Gianna Michaels
Gianna Michaels— an internet porn star—is not the hottest girl but she has amazing natural breasts and the biggest ass I’ve ever seen on a white girl.  That’s not even the reason why she’s on this list.  Go to YouPorn, search for Gianna Michaels, watch one of her videos for five minutes and then come back (pull your pants up first).  This girl gives a blow job like she needs dick for sustenance.  (more…)