There are few things that can cause more rage than driving. Whether it’s sitting in traffic, getting stuck behind a slow driver or getting cut off, driving is sure to cause aggravation nearly every day of our lives. With that in mind, I thought I would highlight some of the biggest assholes on the road with Guys I Want to Punch in the Face: Driving Edition.

Note: Some of these were pulled from older posts. I figured I’d take all the driving ones and group them into one post, in addition to adding a few new ones. (more…)

If you are one of the dozens of people who frequent this site and didn’t just find LWB while searching to find out if a girl you are texting with likes you, then you probably noticed I haven’t been posting much lately—and the posts I have made have, admittedly, not been up to my standards.

Well there was a good reason for that.  My wife and I recently closed on our first home.  The process was an exhausting one and the closer we got to the closing, the harder it was to focus on anything else.

We are settled in our new home now (if you count the stacks of my wife’s clothes still sitting in boxes around the house as settled) so I now I have a little more time to get back to writing.  Now that things are a little more calm, I’ve had a chance to reflect on the life-changing experience I had to endure over the past couple months.

I’m certainly glad to have my own home now but there were many stressful times along the way and many people that I wanted to punch in the face.  So with that in mind, its time for another edition of Random Guys I Want to Punch in the Face! (more…)

This has been an absolutely brutal winter throughout the majority of the United States.  The Northeast has been hit particularly hard, with Old Man Winter metaphorically ass-raping us with frigid temperatures and record-breaking snow fall.   Here in New York, it seems like we’ve been getting hit with a major storm just about every week.  It’s been rough to say the least.

Whenever humans are tested and pushed to their limit, (like we have this winter) we tend to see both the best and the worst of people.  Sure, many people have done great things, like shovel an elderly person’s walkway or help a stranded car out of the snow.  But here at Living with Balls I prefer to spotlight the idiots who come out whenever it snows.  Yup, that’s right.  It’s time for another edition of Random Guys I Want to Punch in the Face….Winter Edition!

The Snow Lover Who Tells Everyone to Stop Complaining about the Snow Guy

Most adults hate snow.  It makes everything more complicated.  We have to get up earlier than usual to shovel our walk and clear the car, so we can get to work on time.  We have to bring a change of shoes, so our feet aren’t soaked all day.   We have to worry about skidding out on the roads or having our travel plans disrupted.  Yet there is always some grown man who is SUPER excited for snow.  Check out an actual status update that a Facebook “friend” of mine wrote…

“why are people complaining about snow falling in the winter time? No one ever says why is the sun is out again in July? Enjoy it…”

Enjoy it? What the fuck is there to enjoy about it? I’m not fucking six.  I don’t plan on making snow angels in the front yard or having a snowball fight with my friends.  You know why no one ever complains about the sun in July? Because the sun is awesome.  Who doesn’t like sunlight?  This is a stupid fucking analogy.  It makes no sense and I feel dumber for reading it.

Maybe this should be my reply to his status update:  “I threw my back out shoveling snow, crashed my car and had my flight get cancelled but enjoy it! The snow is so pretty!”

…and yes, snowfall is very majestic looking at first…but if you live in any major city like I do, that lasts for about 15 minutes and then all the snow turns black with dirt and grime—and it stays that way until March when it finally melts.

So shut your mouth Snow Lover who Tells Everyone to Stop Complaining about the Snow Guy before I shut it for you! (more…)

After a long lay-off, it time to bring back one of the most popular features on Living with Balls: Random Guys I Want to Punch in the Face. I took some time away from this feature because I had run out of guys that I wanted to punch out. Yet in recent weeks, a new batch of idiots has crossed my path, thus inspiring me to revive the dormant feature.

Here’s a new list of people I’d like to punch in the face!

The Bathroom Attendant Guy
Ever go to a fancy restaurant or a wedding and there is some dude just hanging out in the bathroom, handing out paper towels and watching people piss? I hate this friggin’ guy. All he does is stand by the sink in a fancy suit, hand people paper towels and look for tips.

So because you handed me a paper towel, now I have to tip you? FUCK. THAT. A nutless monkey could do your job. I’ll pocket my dollar and get the paper towel myself. I’d like to punch this guy right in the mouth, so that his lip is bleeding, then hand him a paper towel to clean himself off, while holding out my other hand for a tip because I gave him the towel. (more…)

It’s time for a special edition of one of my most popular features: Random Guys I Want to Punch in the Face. Since I’ll be getting married in a few weeks, I thought I’d do a special edition dedicated to the people involved in planning a wedding (This will be the first of a number of wedding-related posts this month, so be sure to look out for those).

As anyone who has ever gotten married can confirm, the process of planning a wedding can be a very stressful experience. Whether it’s dealing with vendors, struggling with financial issues, trying to calm down a bridezilla or countless other unforeseen problems, the wedding process is sure to leave you aggravated at some point. Here are a few people I’ve wanted to punch along the way.

The “You’re Next!” Guy
This is a warning for any recently engaged couple. For any wedding you attend during your engagement, be prepared for at least 30 people to remind you that you are the next couple to get married. This usually comes from distant cousins and friends you haven’t seen in ages, who can’t think of anything else intelligent to say to you, while you stand around drinking cocktails. “HEY GUYS!! YOU’RE NEXT!!”

Thanks for the tip, Cousin Whose Name I Can Never Remember! I wasn’t sure how the Christian calendar worked. So July comes after May? Good thing you reminded me!

This number increases exponentially with each wedding you attend. So just be prepared to laugh it off, while deep down you’ll want to knock them the fuck out. (more…)

Random Guys I Want to Punch in the Face is Back!  This edition is going to be a little different though.  Don’t worry, I’ll still be talking about people I want to punch in the face. You’ll just see a number of references from the movie Anchorman scattered throughout the post.  See if you can spot the them. (more…)

Back in August, I wrote a post called Random Guys I Want to Punch in the Face.  That post has turned out to be, by far, the most popular piece of literature on this web site.  Therefore, I thought I’d give the people more of what they want.  Here are more random people I want to punch in the face. 

THE I GET AWAY WITH USING THE “N” WORD IN FRONT OF BLACK PEOPLE BECAUSE I’M HISPANIC GUY
I work in an urban area of NYC with a population comprised of mostly African-Americans and Hispanics.  Everyday of my life I hear a Spanish guy use the “N” word. IN FRONT OF BLACK PEOPLE—and no one even bats an eye.  SERIOUSLY?  Why do they get a free pass on the word?  If I even whispered the “N” word, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and 30 members of the NAACP would be protesting outside my doorstep.  Why are black people ok with this?  Can someone explain this to me? 

THE DEVELOPERS OF MICROSOFT OFFICE 2007
Hey I got an idea! Let’s take software that everyone in the world uses and make it completely fucking different.  Let’s change the way it looks so no one can figure out how the fuck to find anything!  THEN let’s make it incompatible with the old version so everyone who still has Microsoft Office 2003 can’t OPEN ANY ATTACHMENTS!  If I had a dime for every time I had to reply to an email with a DOCX attachment asking the person to convert and resend it, I could have bought out Bill Gates by now.  Where did they get these retards? The Katherine Gibbs School?  I’d like to lay these worthless bastards out.

(Note: Recently they finally added a plugin to make it compatible—I still fucking hate it though) (more…)

Every so often I run into someone I just want to punch in the face. For whatever reason they just get under my skin. I may not even know them or ever talk to them. They just give off a vibe that says “I deserve to be punched in the face.” Here are some of these people. (more…)