Sex Survey Reveals that Women are Fakers and Men are Poor Lovers

The results from the nation’s largest sex study since 1994 are in and the results aren’t good:

Men, you might not be as good in bed as you think.  

The Indiana University study has revealed that 85 percent of men claim that their latest sexual partner had an orgasm.  Meanwhile, only 64 percent of women claim to have had an orgasm in their most recent sexual encounter.  This discrepancy is too large to account for some men having had male partners in their last sexual encounter.

So what accounts for this 21 percent difference?

Well the most obvious answer is that many women are faking orgasms.  This is some very disturbing news.  Is it possible that I fall within that 21 percent? Have I been duped in the past?  Am I not the stud I think I am?  Really though, how can you know? I can never tell when a girl has an orgasm.  I just take her word for it. 

Why do women fake it? Is it because they want their man to feel good about their sexual performance or is it because they’ve had enough already and they just want to go to sleep?  Maybe it’s a combination of both. 

I suppose that a large portion of this 21 percent could have just lied on the survey.  If there’s one thing many men tend to do, its lie about their sex life.  I think we all have that one friend who loves to exaggerate or completely fabricate a sex story. 

Certainly this “perception gap” is too large to overlook though.  What can men do to make these numbers a little more even?

Well to answer that question, the survey also reveals: “Men are more likely to orgasm when sex includes vaginal intercourse; women are more likely to orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts and when oral sex or vaginal intercourse is included”

So basically, as the song goes, “Ya gotta lick it, before you kick it.”  Men… you HAVE TO go down your ladies.  While we can just stick it in, pump a few times and call it night, women require a little more work to get the job done.  So if you want your woman to orgasm as frequent as you, start working on your moves down there— perhaps try closing with a counter-clockwise swirl. (Yes, that’s two Seinfeld references in one post).

Some other notes of interest from the study…

“While just 7% of adult woman and 8% of adult men identified themselves as gay, lesbian or bisexual, some 15% of men ages 50 to 59 said they had received oral sex from another man”

WTF? This is a little strange.  Sure, I guess receiving oral sex from a man is “less gay” than giving it…but it’s still pretty gay.  These seven percent are in denial.

“Adults using a condom for intercourse were just as likely to rate the sexual extent positively in terms of arousal, pleasure and orgasm than when having intercourse without one.”

Really? Who the fuck took this survey? Sex with a condom sucks.  One of my main motivations for getting married was so that I wouldn’t have to use a condom anymore.  Now certainly using a condom is preferable to contracting a STD or having an illegitimate child, but I have a hard time believing that people “were just as likely rate the sexual extent positively.”

Try having sex with a condom after a night of heavy drinking.  I have a better chance of spontaneously combusting then I do of achieving an orgasm.  

Linked here is a chart of common sexual behaviors broken down by age group.  According to the chart, about 84 % of men ages 20-29 have masturbated alone in the previous year. 

I call BULLSHIT on this one as well.  You mean to tell me 16 percent of men in this country, who are in sexual prime of their lives, went a full year with rubbing one out? NO. FUCKING. WAY. I once tried to give up masturbation for Lent and couldn’t make it past Ash Wednesday.  

If had to guess, I’d say the number should be more like 99.999999% of males age 20-29 masturbated in the last year.  Those Duggar kids are probably the only exception. 

You’ve heard my thoughts, now I’d like to hear yours. What are your thoughts on this survey?   Are you buying into all these findings? Any other thoughts on how woman can achieve more orgasms?

11 comments for “Sex Survey Reveals that Women are Fakers and Men are Poor Lovers

  1. October 7, 2010 at 6:04 pm

    I never fake it. If he cums too quickly I will most likey cry and hold it over his head for a few days. Its pretty aweful getting all worked up and having no release for us girls, too. I dislike condoms, its like being invaded by the corner of a plastic bag. Skin is soft and slippery. (ON a safe sex note, I am with the same partner, all the time.)
    I don’t think it’s less gay to get head then it is to give it. I think thats what peole who hate that side of themselves think and say. Stupid culutre.

  2. October 10, 2010 at 12:39 am

    hahaha…Glad to hear you aren’t one of the fakers. Although, I don’t know if I support holding it over him for a few days either!

  3. October 10, 2010 at 1:53 am

    yeah I know…I try to make it up to him…with more sex.
    LOL

  4. Mr. Cleavage
    October 12, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    So Mrs. Cleavage may be occasionally faking it? Wow… who knew? She’s either very well trained, a very good liar, or both…

  5. Don Valdez
    October 14, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    Women fake it? WHO CARES!?

  6. Don Valdez
    October 14, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    You know a better survey would be looking into how many people have faked it within the last year when masterbating.

    That would be interesting.

  7. October 14, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    Mr Cleavage, welcome back! Hadn’t heard from you in a while.

    Don Valdez, good point. You’re funny. People should follow you on twitter @donvaldezny

  8. Mr. Cleavage
    October 18, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    Mr. Cleavage was in Shanghai, studying Asians while they faked it…don’t tell Mrs. Cleavage.

  9. October 22, 2010 at 10:21 am

    I’m a stats guy, so I’m going to inject some unconventional logic here :)

    Let’s say that 100 men have sex with 100 women. 64 of the women have an orgasm.

    Now, let’s say that 21 of those men – all of whom had partners who did not experience an orgasm – have sex again, with different partners -women who all have orgasms (and all of whom had orgasms the first time).

    At this point, 85 of the men had partners who experienced an orgasm during the man’s last sexual encounter, but still just 64 of women had orgasm during their last encounter. The different is that 21 men switched out a non-orgasm partner for a orgasmic partner – a Mulligan.

    While the logic that women are faking and men are lying is probably true, it should be noted that these numbers should really not match up exactly, due to differences in frequency among respondents.

    OK, the second thing:
    “While just 7% of adult woman and 8% of adult men identified themselves as gay, lesbian or bisexual, some 15% of men ages 50 to 59 said they had received oral sex from another man”

    I’ll point out the fact that the 8% and 15% are from different populations. The 8% is all adult men (age 18-100+) whereas the 15% is men from 50-59. Men is that age group may be more likely to have engaged in this activities for a variety of reasons. For one thing, they have been alive longer than the younger man, so there has been more of an opportunity.

  10. Joe
    January 6, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    Observations:

    1. About 30% of women don’t even care about orgasms or sex enough for it to matter to them, they just don’t like it that much.

    2. Some women (~15%) feel that faking it helps. We can’t improve if we don’t know there’s a problem.

    3. Others (~10%) feel that making us feel like shit and degrading us about not getting them off will somehow magically turn us into the greatest lover in the world. Not true.

    4. Some women (maybe 30%) are too uptight to let a man do to them what he has to do to make them cum.

    5. The rest of women (maybe ~15%) are reasonable enough to talk about and solve problems in this area!

  11. Joe
    January 6, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    I’ll add that MANY women are afraid to just be honest with us both about not getting off and/or what should be done to help – they assume we should be mindreaders.

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