Rap Lyrics Translated for White People-Volume 4

Hello there fellow white people.  I know you’ve been dying for another installment of Rap Lyrics Translated for White People—the original LWB feature where I translate some popular rap lyrics so less-informed white people can understand them.

Did your black co-worker openly mock you when you used “fo shizzle” improperly in a sentence? Have you grown tired of listening to Dave Matthews Band and would like to learn about some other musical genres? Well you’ve come to the right place!

Enjoy the fourth installment of Rap Lyrics Translated for White People! (As always there are footnotes to further help you understand the lyrics)

Ain’t No Fun (If the Homies Can’t Have None) [1]- Snoop Dogg

Guess who back in the motherfuckin house
With a fat dick for your motherfuckin mouth
Hoes recognize, n-ggaz do too
Cuz when bitches get skanless and pull a voodoo
What you gon do? You really don’t know
So I’d advise you not to trust that hoe
Silly of me to fall in love with a bitch
Knowin damn well, I’m too caught up with my grip
Now as the sun rotates and my game grows bigger
How many bitches wanna fuck this n-gga named Snoop
Doggy, I’m all the above
I’m too swift on my toes to get caught up with you hoes
But see, it ain’t no fun, if my homies can’t get a taste of it
Cause you know I don’t love em

White Translation
Guess who’s back? It’s me Snoop Dogg! Remember me from Dr. Dre’s “The Chronic”? You white people LOVED that album!
You know us black guys have big dicks…and I’m going to place it in your mouth
Promiscuous women know that. My friends know it too
Some of these sluts are scandalous and pull some crazy stunts
Hey… what can ya do?
You should never trust these women I have sex with because they’ve had relationships with multiple partners
It was dumb of me to fall in love with this licentious woman like this
When I knew all to well my other interests were more important to me and this slut would only distract me from these other affairs (i.e. making money and smoking weed)
As the days go by and I become more successful
There are many women who want to have intercourse with Snoop Dogg
I’m too smart to get involved with these slutty women
But it’s really not enjoyable for me to have sex with a woman unless all my friends can have sex with her afterwards

Make it Clap [2] Busta Rhymes feat Spliff Star

(this particular verse is by Spliff Star)

See you a hot little mama it’s only right that I holla
Love your face, love your smile, love that ass in a Prada
Make it, bounce up and down like the six four impalla
Turn around wiggle it like you shakin it for dollars
Girl your skin tone pretty and you love top wear Vickey
Sport Gucci and Gabbana when you love the world is sticky
Got a, crib in the city with a cherry eight fifty
We could cruise down the avenue and shop till you dizzy
Throw some karats in your pinky have your neck and wrist blingy
I could bless you with it all boo but never say gimme
We can, pop yellow bottles push whips in all models
Vroom vroom on the Calisport instead of Gucci goggles
I’m a fly little nigga boo enough for you to dig it boo
Hit me up later we can go somewhere and kick it boo
The name is Spliff baby I’ll make you man hate me
Cause my shit’s steak and gravy plus my pipe gettin crazy baby

White Translation
I see this petite sexy woman. I HAVE to talk to her
You have a pretty face and smile but most importantly your ass looks great in designer clothes.
I want to see your ass jiggle up and down like a car with hydraulics would
I know I said your pretty but I really don’t want to see your face. Turn around and shake your ass and I’ll give you a few dollars.
You’re black. I like that
(more crap about designer labels that rhyme)
I have a nice bachelor pad in the city and an expensive car that happens to be red
You should take a ride in my car with me and shop for a really long time
I’ll put some diamond rings on your finger and perhaps I’ll even get you a diamond necklace or bracelet
We can drink champagne and drive all different types of cars
More pointless stuff about cars and designer labels
I’m a good looking black man, girl and I’m good enough for you
Call me sometime and we can maybe get some coffee or see a movie?
My name is Spliff. Your boyfriend probably won’t like that you are hanging out with me.
Cause I’m pretty good in bed. [3] I also smoke lots of weed.

50 Cent- Heat

Keep thinkin I’m candy till ya fuckin skull get popped
And ya brain jump out the top like Jack-in-da-box
In the hood summer time is the killing season
It’s hot out this bitch that’s a good ’nuff reason
I’ve seen gangsta’s get religious when they start bleedin
Sayin “Lord, Jesus Help Me” cause they ass leakin
When they window roll down and that A.K. come out
You can squeeze ya lil handgun until you run out
And you can run for ya back-up
But them machine gun shells gone tear ya back up
God’s on ya side, shit I’m aight wit that
We reload them clips and come right back
It’s a fact homie, you go against me ya fucked
I get the drop, if you can duck, ya luckier then Lady Luck
Look n-gga, don’t think you safe cause you moved out the hood
Cuz ya momma still around dog, and that ain’t good
If you was smart you’d be shook of me
Cuz I’d get tired of lookin for ya, spray ya momma crib, and let ya ass look
for me

White Translation
Keep thinking that I’m weak. You won’t think that anymore when I put a bullet in your head.
Your brain will be spilling out of your head, similar to a jack-in-the-box
A lot of people get murdered during the summer time in the ghetto
Us black folks don’t like the heat. What other reason do you need to murder someone?
I’ve seen guys start praying to God when I shoot them
They cry out “Lord please help me,” while they are bleeding.
An AK Assault Rifle will win against a handgun every time there is a drive by shooting
Keep squeezing that crappy little gun you have
You can even call your friends
It won’t matter because the bullets from my machine gun will tear through your back
I don’t care if you’re a religious man. That’s fine with me.
Because I’ll reload and shoot you some more
Don’t go against me. You’ll be in trouble
If somehow you can duck my bullets, than you are a pretty lucky dude
You can move out of the ghetto. It won’t really matter though.
Your mom still lives here so you have to come back eventually
If you had any intelligence you would be scared of me
I may get tired of looking for you and just shoot your mother instead. Then eventually you’ll come look for me for revenge, at which point, I will kill you as well. [4]

C.R.E.A.M [5] Wu-Tang Clan

I grew up on the crime side, the New York Times side
Staying alive was no jive
At second hands, moms bounced on old men
So then we moved to Shaolin land
A young youth, yo rockin the gold tooth, ‘Lo goose
Only way, I begin to gee off was drug loot
And let’s start it like this son, rollin with this one
And that one, pullin out gats for fun
But it was just a dream for the teen, who was a fiend
Started smokin woolies at sixteen
And running up in gates, and doing hits for high stakes
Making my way on fire escapes
No question I would speed, for cracks and weed
The combination made my eyes bleed
No question I would flow off, and try to get the dough all
Sticking up white boys in ball courts
My life got no better, same damn ‘Lo sweater
Times is ruff and tuff like leather
Figured out I went the wrong route
So I got with a sick ass click and went all out
Catchin keys from across seas
Rollin in MPV’s, every week we made forty G’s
Yo nigga respect mine, or anger the tech nine
Ch-chick-POW! Move from the gate now

White Translation
I grew up in a bad part of New York City. The New York Times would print stories about all the bad stuff happening here.
Staying alive was hard here
We were poor and bought most of our stuff at second-hand stores
So my Mother and I decided to move Staten Island [6]
I was young and I had a gold tooth and one of those puffy goose down jackets
I started making money off of selling drugs
I got really cocky and thought I was the shit so I would whip out all my guns just for the hell of it
It was just a dream as a youth
I would mainly spend my team smoking weed
And sometimes killing people
I’d escape down the fire escape
I like to do crack and smoke weed
Your eyes get really bloodshot if you do enough of it
There was never any doubt I’d make a lot of money
Sometimes I’d rob you white people while you attempted to play basketball
But even after all the robbing and drug-dealing I did, I still didn’t have it much better
So I realized I made a mistake.
No. I wasn’t going to go to college and then hopefully get a legitimate job now. I realized my mistake is that I should be selling cocaine instead of weed! DUH!
I would make big coke deals overseas
Now I made lots of money, 40,000 dollars a week plus a sweeeet automobile
You better respect me or I will whip out my firearm
GUN SOUND. …Get out of the way

Drake feat. Eminem and Kanye West- Forever

Last name ever
First name greatest
Like a sprained ankle boy I aint nothing to play with
Started off local but thanks to all the haters
I know G4 pilots on a first name basis
In your city faded off the brown, Nino
She insists she got more class, we know
Swimming in the money come and find me, Nemo
If I was at the club you know I ball, chemo
Drop the mixtape that shit sounded like a album
Who’da thought a country wide tour’d be the outcome
Labels want my name beside the X like Malcolm
Everybody got a deal, I did it without one
Yeah n-gga Im about my business
Killing all these rappers you would swear I had a hit list
Everyone who doubted me is asking for forgiveness
If you aint been a part of it at least you got to witness
Bitches

White Translation
I’m the greatest rapper of all-time [7]
You shouldn’t mess with me, just like you shouldn’t mess around when you have a sprained ankle
I started off rapping on the local scene
But now I’m worldwide and I own a private plane
In your city, you’re high on Heroin like Wesley Snipes in New Jack City
She said she’s classier than that but she’s not
I’m swimming in money, like that cartoon fish swims in the water
I have a good time at the club
My mixtape was really good. Almost as good as a professional album
I never thought I’d be a big rap star [8]
Other rappers needed a deal to make it big. I became popular on my own
I’m murdering rappers with my lyrics in a metaphorical manner.
Everyone who said I couldn’t do it is now apologizing to me
It sucks if you couldn’t be a part of my fame. At least you get to hear how awesome I am.
Bitches

Footnotes
1. The title refers to the upsetting feeling Snoop Dogg has when his friends can’t have sex with the same woman he’s had sex with.
2. “Make it Clap” refers to the sound a man’s testicles makes when it makes contact with a woman’s backside while having sexual relations, in a position that is often referred to in the urban community as “doggy style.”
3. Somehow Spliff being good in bed is related to steak and gravy. I don’t really get the analogy.
4. I know. That’s some pretty graphic shit.
5. C.R.E.A.M stands for Cash Rules Everything Around Me
6. That doesn’t seem like much of an improvement
7. You are most certainly NOT the greatest rapper of all-time. You aren’t even the best rapper on this song. Actually, you’re not even the second best rapper on this song.
8. I can’t believe you’re a big rap star either. This verse is just awful. Swimming in money, come and find me Nemo? That’s the best line you can come with? Like a sprained ankle, I ain’t nothin’ to play with? I’ve read nursery rhymes written better.


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1 Comment

  1. Mr. Cleavage says:

    Thanks for doing another one of these…I always bust a gut (not a cap) reading them!
    You should do one for the brothers some time, like: “Country Music Translated for the Timberland/FUBU Crowd” or something like that…

    -Mr. Cleavage (featuring Bumpy Areola)

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