Negative Commenters Be Warned: You Can’t Win

Living with Balls LogoIf you talk to any blogger about how to handle negative comments, you’ll likely get a variety of answers on how to deal with them.  I’ve been victim a number of nasty comments over the past year or so.  When I first came across a negative comment, I wasn’t sure how to handle it so I consulted, which is probably the most trusted source for advice on blogging.  Here’s what they said:

“When someone comes by & tells you your blog sucks, you suck, your dog sucks & man, has anyone ever told you you suck?, don’t take the bait! Most of the time, these are just bitter people looking for a fight. It’s just like with bullies in school — all they want is a reaction. So don’t give it to them. There is nothing more infuriating than going out of your way to annoy someone & getting no response. They will fume like mad, & might have another go, but then they will go away. The game gets old. & you can do a little celebratory dance in your living room.”—Darren Rowse-ProBlogger

This is good advice and I should probably follow it. But I’m not going to.  Instead, I’m going to take a much different approach.  My approach is to do my best to EMBARRASS YOU.   

Yes. That’s right. You leave a negative comment on my blog and I’m going to let you have it. Forget about being the better fucking person.  Fuck turning the other cheek. This blog is called Living with BALLS.  You gotta have a big sack around here.

I run a humor blog.  The majority of what I write is not intended to be taken seriously.  I steer away from controversial subjects like politics and religion because I don’t want to deal with this crap.  The majority of my content involves me complaining about my wife or writing about boobs. So because of this, I will not hold back if I see a negative comment.

There’s no reason to make a personal attack at me. You don’t know me and you have no right to judge my character.  I know not everyone is going to like what I write and I’m fine with that.  If you don’t like it, don’t come back.  But don’t waste our time with a negative comment that adds nothing to the conversation.  

In fact, let me tell you a little about myself so you can save yourself the time of attacking my character. 

I’m not a fat. I’m not ugly and I’m not a loser who can’t get laid. I don’t live in my mom’s basement and blog all day.  That pretty much covers the majority of insults I get.

I suppose I’m decent looking. My wife claims to find me attractive and provides me with semi-regular sex. I have a master’s degree and I am fairly successful in life.  I write a couple posts a week on this blog with the little free time I actually have.

If you still decide to leave a negative comment, I will respond with something way more clever and creative and put you in your place, like I did to this faggot here. 

If I’m not feeling up to a conflict, I may just get one of my boys to rip you a new asshole, as Uncle Billy did so eloquently here…or perhaps I’ll get an assist from a loyal commenter as was the case here.   

And if you really piss me off, I’ll just reveal your email address to everyone and encourage my readers to write you nasty emails or sign you up for annoying mailing lists. 

Now if by some small chance, you get the better of me, then I’ll simply just delete your comment. YOU CAN’T WIN Negative Commenter Guy.  So I advise you stay away.

3 comments for “Negative Commenters Be Warned: You Can’t Win

  1. ThatAintKosher
    August 23, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    The one and only time I’ve actually gotten a negative comment was on your site. Ironic, but true. It was when you did your post on the Yankees and some stupid bitch commented on why the Mets suck.

    Instead of starting shit on your site I did an entire blog post on mine about what a moron this girl is. It’s too bad she’s too much of a pussy to check my link because I fucking wrecked that shit.

    BTW, her internet handle has “girly girl” in it. Yeah, that’s effective.

    Anyway, yeah, I share your views. Good work.

  2. August 23, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    haha. I remember that. I didn’t realize you did a post on it. I have to check out this post now.

  3. August 24, 2010 at 6:26 am

    I got my first bit of hate mail the other day. I was proud as punch.

    Seriously though hate mail and hate posts are compliments in disguise.

    Just like slaps in the face from women are tender loving caresses of admiration in disguise.

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