Are you about to move in with your long-time girlfriend or fiancé? Are you thinking about it? Be prepared for things to change…significantly. Before you move in be sure to read this article. If you can live with these changes than, by all means, move in with your girl. However, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
This is will be a three-part series giving advice on living with your woman. The first part, called Rules of Engagement was already posted. However, it was the first ever post on this blog and many of you may have missed it. The third and final part is called TV Shows you and your Girlfriend can Watch Together.
Now before I continue, let me just say that I love my girl very much and I could not imagine my life without her. There are many great things about living together and getting married but you guys don’t really want to hear about all that. So I’m just going to tell you about the negative stuff.
Are you a big sports fan? Well be prepared to see your viewing time decrease significantly. Think you are going to watch nine hours of football on Sunday? Think again. If you want to sleep on the couch that night then go right ahead.
My best advice is to prioritize. If your favorite team plays at 4:00 then skip the 1:00 game and take her out to lunch or go shopping with her. If you watch the 1:00 game first, by the time 4:00 comes around she’ll be nagging you during the game you really want to watch.
Are you a baseball fan? Well that’s a little tougher. Take advantage of off days and West coast trips. Take her out on those days and make her feel special. She’ll be more likely to let you watch the game in peace.
Back when I was a bachelor, I’d polish off a good video game in a week. Metal Gear Solid : done in five days. Gears of War 2: three days. Now, I’ll be lucky if I take the wrapping off the game in three days. Ever buy a game that’s so good you just can’t wait to get home to play it? Well that’s not happening. When you get home, you need to sit and talk about your day. You need to cuddle her and sit through a re-run of Friends first. Your only hope is that she falls asleep early and you can sneak in some game time before bed.
Expect to see the amount of time you sleep decrease as well. I’m woken up pretty much every time my girl rolls over or gets up to use the bathroom. Oh and if she has to wake up at 6:30, guess what? You’re waking up at 6:30 because her alarm will wake you up. She also has a habit of elbowing me while she sleeps. I’m pretty sure subconsciously she wants to beat me up.
My advice: spring for a really good bed. It’s worth it. Get the one where the girl is dancing on the bed and the bottle of wine isn’t moving. I know that’s going to be my next big purchase. Also, if you can convince her to sleep in separate beds, do it. I know it’s a tough sell but it’s worth a shot.
Had a hard day at the office? Want to come home, kick up your feet on the recliner and crack open a cold one? Fuck that. You got shit to do. You need to do the dishes or run to the store for the eighth time this week. Want to relax? You can relax when you’re dead. Women have a constant urge to do something at all times. They are also very good at nagging. It’s a deadly combination.
What’s that? You’re not clairvoyant? Well you should be if you want to have a healthy relationship. If she tells you she doesn’t need help cleaning the house that means get your lazy ass off the couch and help me clean. If you ask her what’s wrong and she responds, “Nothing, I’m fine.” That means you’re a fucking asshole.
Now if you can’t read your girlfriends thoughts, then the best suggestion I have is to just always assume you are in trouble and do something to make her happy. Happy wife, happy life.
Every time you screw up (which will be often) be prepared for the guilt trip that will follow. Now I grew up with an Italian mother and I’m engaged to Jewish woman—that’s the perfect storm of guilt trips— so I’ve managed to build up some guilt trip tolerance. Therefore, it won’t affect me as much. However, you might not be lucky.
I don’t really have any advice for this one. Just be ready for it.
Still want to move in with her? Still want to propose? Good. Then you really love her. I know I do. Best of luck to you with whatever decision you make.
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