More 24 Mockery with John S. and DV

After another absurd episode of 24 this past Monday, my buddy DV and I are back to rip into this season of 24. Here’s the AIM transcript from this week. SPOILER ALERT!! Don’t read ahead if you have not seen the episode which aired on February 15, 2010.

John S (10:01:35 AM): hey
DV (10:02:28 AM): yo
DV (10:02:37 AM): did you watch 24?
John S (10:02:44 AM): yes
DV (10:03:25 AM): the script must have been written on toilet paper cause there was crap all over that episode
John S (10:04:37 AM): hahaha
DV (10:04:54 AM): 1st… Wasn’t Jack previously hung from a ceiling and was tortured by electric shocks?
John S (10:05:01 AM): I believe so
John S (10:05:10 AM): and he strangled the guy with his legs
DV (10:05:21 AM): during that moment I turned to my wife and said… wait for the break the neck move with the legs
DV (10:05:23 AM): I kid you not
DV (10:05:44 AM): then.. I was surprised to see the shove the electric thing into the guys chest
DV (10:05:57 AM): but of course… there was no way I was going to be wrong
DV (10:06:14 AM): cause then they threw in the leg log neck break as soon as the guy woke up!
DV (10:06:38 AM): I mean while they were filming did someone insist they had to do that?
John S (10:35:30 AM): you know what ridiculousness I noticed…
John S (10:35:49 AM): after they captured the Russian guy, Jack called it in and said to send an attack team
John S (10:35:52 AM): they were there in like 30 seconds
John S (10:36:05 AM): and had already started investigating and put the dude in handcuffs
DV (10:36:22 AM): yeah they must have beamed there
John S (10:36:46 AM): haha. It was amazing. They went to commercial break and by the time they came back they were already working out an immunity deal
DV (10:37:06 AM): it’s amazing how quickly you can get the president on the phone
John S (10:37:26 AM): that too
John S (10:37:36 AM): and how does jack remember everyone’s phone numbers?
John S (10:37:44 AM): he called Chloe’s CTU work number with a random phone
DV (10:37:53 AM): that’s another good point!
DV (10:37:57 AM): he called her direct line!
DV (10:38:07 AM): does he have a photographic memory?
John S (10:38:08 AM): there’s no way he’d have that number memorized
DV (10:38:57 AM): hey also.. How did what’s her face get to the strip club with a gun so quickly?
DV (10:39:10 AM): why didn’t she take a gun with her the first time she saw the guy?
DV (10:39:37 AM): the guy who I will refer to as Fake Leonardo DiCaprio
John S (10:40:33 AM): yeah. She went from to Manhattan to Jersey City in like 10 minutes
DV (10:40:50 AM): how did she get there?
DV (10:40:54 AM): the Path?
DV (10:40:56 AM): car?
John S (10:41:06 AM): I don’t know. I’d like to know how though
DV (10:41:25 AM): and the Rods are on a truck stop on the Wantagh parkway?
John S (10:41:34 AM): there are no trucks allowed on the Wantagh Parkway!
DV (10:41:37 AM): I know!
DV (10:42:05 AM): hey let’s just name drop a random NY highway
John S (10:42:10 AM): they probably got stuck in the overpass and now the nuclear rods are causing a major traffic jam
DV (10:42:21 AM): haha they must be!
John S (10:42:42 AM): I’d be cursing out those terrorists if I was stuck in traffic at 11:30 at night
DV (10:42:52 AM): you know if they actually played that into the story – I’d respect it more
John S (10:42:59 AM): that would be awesome
DV (10:43:25 AM): that’s also far
DV (10:43:42 AM): that’s at least 35 minutes and that’s if you are flying down the highways
DV (10:47:58 AM): and didn’t it look like some of that shotgun blast caught jack in the arm?
John S (10:48:10 AM): I thought that too
John S (10:48:16 AM): he was patching it up
John S (10:48:25 AM): I wonder if maybe some glass got in his arm
John S (10:49:37 AM): also the dude was shooting a shotgun at a table that jack was underneath and somehow it didn’t hit him
DV (10:50:45 AM): also it’s good to know that pushing a table on to someone will render them completely unconscious
DV (10:51:02 AM): he was just like.. “SURPRISE!”
DV (10:51:14 AM): the table flips and then magically the Russian dude is out cold.
John S (10:54:59 AM): that’s true. He also stabbed a guy in nearly the same spot that he was stabeed and the guy died instantly
DV (10:51:19 AM): side note: http://www.sportspickle.com/article:649/examining-the-subtle-messages-in-jimmy-johnsons-extenze-ad
John S (10:56:33 AM): guess Jimmy Johnson needs some cash
DV (10:59:00 AM): maybe he just wanted some free Extenze.
John S (10:59:16 AM): that’s a possibility
DV (10:59:29 AM): I’d like to see Jack Bauer in an Extenze comercial
John S (10:59:38 AM): he should. He’s like 70 years old
DV (10:59:46 AM): I know!
DV (10:59:51 AM): at least maybe a Viagra comercial
DV (11:00:10 AM): he could be like… I’m Jack Bauer and I’m 105 years old
DV (11:00:22 AM): so when I need some wood I take Viagra.
DV (11:00:36 AM): and then I kill terrorists with it.
John S (11:02:08 AM): hahaha
John S (11:02:40 AM): and when the day is over I bang whatever broad I’m currently in love with
DV (11:03:07 AM): you know he probably hasn’t done it in like 10 years
DV (11:03:15 AM): that’s gotta suck
DV (11:03:29 AM): he should go to that strip club in Jersey
John S (11:03:36 AM): why do you think he hasn’t gotten laid?
DV (11:03:44 AM): probably not since Audrey
DV (11:04:01 AM): he was held captive by the Chinese
DV (11:04:14 AM): last season he was really sick at the end
DV (11:04:31 AM): he doesn’t really have any friends
DV (11:04:35 AM): they are all dead
DV (11:04:55 AM): I mean unless he’s giving it to Chloe
DV (11:05:22 AM): i don’t think her husband would do much to stop that though
John S (11:05:37 AM): there’s an off chance he may have banged Renee once or twice in the time between last season and this season
DV (11:05:47 AM): nah I doubt that
John S (11:23:19 AM): maybe he had a few one night stands or called a few hookers
DV (11:33:31 AM): you think he called hookers?
John S (11:33:40 AM): maybe
DV (11:33:50 AM): Jack Bauer doesn’t call hookers… hookers call Jack Bauer
John S (11:34:01 AM): haha you’re probably right
John S (11:34:23 AM): by that logic he should have gotten laid lots of times
DV (11:34:29 AM): true
DV (11:34:30 AM): good point
DV (11:34:33 AM): but I don’t think he has
DV (11:34:46 AM): which is why he’s always angry
John S (11:35:02 AM): true. that could cause some bent up frustration
John S (11:35:10 AM): but so could spending 2 years in a prison camp in china
DV (11:35:18 AM): I think the season should open next year him banging the president
John S (11:35:27 AM): that would be awesome
DV (11:35:40 AM): doggy style then he throws her off… smokes a cig and walks out
DV (11:35:48 AM): they are probably the same age
DV (11:36:28 AM): in fact they might as well have him run for president
DV (11:36:40 AM): they should evolve the show into an air force one
John S (11:36:40 AM): he might be older than president Taylor
DV (11:47:42 AM): oh yeah. I was really hoping they would rip off Die Hard when jack walked out with no shoes on
John S (11:47:59 AM): what happened in die hard
DV (11:48:11 AM): wait seriously?
DV (11:48:15 AM): you don’t remember die hard?
DV (11:48:28 AM): have you seen die hard?
John S (11:49:13 AM): nope
John S (11:49:23 AM): I know. It’s hard to believe
DV (11:53:28 AM): ok…
DV (11:53:33 AM): you need to stop what you are doing…
DV (11:53:37 AM): and see Die Hard right now
John S (11:53:46 AM): I’ll put it on my Netflix queue
DV (11:53:57 AM): First off… it’s the greatest Christmas movie of all time
DV (11:54:02 AM): do you hate Christmas?
John S (11:54:35 AM): I like Christmas
DV (11:56:33 AM): then you’ll love Die Hard.
John S (11:56:38 AM): brb
DV (11:56:50 AM): I hope you are brbing to go see Die Hard right now.

4 comments for “More 24 Mockery with John S. and DV

  1. Future Mrs. S
    February 17, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    Wow, you two clearly have too much time on your hands at work!! ;)

  2. DV
    February 17, 2010 at 6:10 pm

    After reading this converstation I’ve concluded I have A.D.D. I cannot stay on one topic regarding 24′s suckiness for more than 30 seconds.

  3. Chevy
    February 18, 2010 at 10:01 am

    Wait, how have you never seen Die Hard?

  4. Charlie
    February 23, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    Dude – you’ve seen Die Hard. Stop playing.

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