King Kong Ain’t Got Shit on Vagina

In the 2001 movie Training Day, academy award winning actor Denzel Washington, plays a crooked cop who owes money to the Russian Mob. In one of the final scenes, when Denzel’s life is in danger, he utters one of the most famous movie lines in recent history saying, “I run shit here, you just live here!…King Kong ain’t got SHIT on me! (see clip below)

In the world of relationships, make no mistake about, Women run shit. Men just live here. Most men claim to wear the pants but in actuality all women control the relationship.

Despite the best efforts of women, we are still a male-dominated society.  Women still make less money than men on average, males hold more high-level jobs and women are continually portrayed as sex objects on television. (For the record, I’m not saying this is how it should be, these are just facts).

However, once the man enters a long-term relationship, those inequities no longer apply because women hold the one key that tips the relationship scale in their favor…THE VAGINA. Despite the best efforts of George Constanza and other men, we have no upper hand, because if we do anything wrong, the woman will withhold entry to the best place on Earth.  For this reason, men always have to make a conscious effort to be on their best behavior.

In most cases, women can withhold from sex longer than men. That’s why it’s always important to keep the woman happy.  You don’t want to get shut out for weeks at a time because you said she looks fat in the new dress she bought.  A woman will breeze through weeks of abstinence, while you struggle to get through a day without rubbing one out.

Why else would a grown man ask his girl or wife permission to hang out with his buddies, or allow woman to decorate his home with scented candles and pink bath towels?  Why else would we sit through chick flicks and episodes of Say Yes to the Dress? (I’m not saying I do these things, just men in general. Ok, maybe some of the time). We want to keep the woman happy at all times. Unfortunately this is a battle we usually lose.

I’ve seen it happen time and time again: Men succumbing to the endless needs of women.  It’s kind of sad but I know I am guilty of it too.  In my relationship, the scales are tipped way in her favor because she also cooks.  Food often times holds greater weight than sex.  I’ve gone long periods of time in my life without sex before. That’s not that unusual for me.  Food is the true way to a man’s heart.  So if I want to eat or have sex, I really need to be on my best behavior, otherwise its TV dinners and blue balls for me.

So you can deny it all you want men, but the truth is King Kong ain’t got SHIT on Vagina…and sometimes food.

3 comments for “King Kong Ain’t Got Shit on Vagina

  1. Pingback: Muff Slap Recap 1/15/09
  2. January 15, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    so true! They are like horse trainers. At the start of a relationship we are like wild stallions that can’t be tamed.

    After a while they try to break our spirit with ultra emasculating moves like getting us to hold their hand bags whilst they try some underwear on in a lingerie store…if you see a man in a store in that situation he’ll be sporting a Nam-esk 1000 yard stare.

  3. January 16, 2010 at 11:22 pm

    You got me off-guarded here John. Much as I want to deny, your facts are true. But when it comes to cooking, I’ve got the upper hand. My wife love food and so are my recipes. :-)
    .-= Walter´s last blog ..Criticism: the unwanted mentor =-.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


− nine = 0