With the advances in technology over the years, the mediums for flirting have changed. No longer do you have to meet in person or make a phone call to flirt. Thanks to instant messaging, text messaging and social networking sites, it’s easier than ever to charm a girl.
In fact, the first time I contacted my fiancé after we met was through Facebook. Most of our contact early on was through either Facebook or AOL Instant Messenger. These tools are great for guys like me, who are usually to pussy to actually pick up the phone to talk to a girl.
Instant messaging has introduced new methods of flirting. However, many guys, such as myself have trouble picking up on flirting when it’s in person. It’s even harder to pick up on these signals online.
So to help you out, I have consulted with a number of trusted women to help you find out if a girl is actually interested or if she wants nothing to do with you. I asked my fiancé, as well as good friends Sarah, Megan, Amanda, Karen and Melissa. Their names have been changed to keep their secrets safe.
THEY INITIATE THE CONVERSATION
This seems fairly obvious but it needs to be said. If you are always the one initiating the conversation, that’s not a good sign. She needs to IM or text you initially at least some of the time. However, don’t expect that too often because even if she likes you she may not want to come off as desperate and will wait for you to start the conversation.
THEY SEEM INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY
This is another fairly obvious one but if she asks a lot of questions and has good responses to your comments, than you might be in luck. If you are the one always asking questions and trying to keep the conversation going, then you should probably renew your Brazzers membership because you aren’t getting laid anytime soon.
Here’s what Sarah had to say on the matter: “A good sign would be if a girl is constantly engaged in the conversation (i.e. “brb” is a BAD thing) and writes fairly long, but not too long, or too short messages. Too long and they may just consider you a friend; too short and they are just not interested.”
Emoticons are always a good sign. The more, the better. Big smiles and laughs are always good when flirting in person. Online is no different.
Here’s what my friend Megan had to say: “Without a doubt, the wink is super important when flirting over aim and texts. ;).”
Amanda agrees: “I do send quite a few of the emoticons as well, usually the winky one, the blushy one, the kissy one or the big smile one.”
and Karen… “The winking face is a definite flirting tool, and general teasing of whoever I’m flirting with.”
Melissa had this to add: “I definitely use emoticons but I’m also a big fan of the exclamation point (!) — This is typically when I am trying to be funny or trying to show that I’m really engaged in the conversation.”
Which bring me to my next point…
Exclamation points are a great sign. Hey! Is better than Hey. What’s up!? is better than what’s up. It shows they are genuinely excited to talk to you and not just being polite.
ADD-ONS TO A GREETING
Any sort of add on to a greeting is usually a good sign. For example, instead of saying Hey, they say Hey there! or Hey babe.
Here’s what Megan had to say: I’d also start off with “hi hottie” and end with “bye babe” or “ciao babe”
Melissa agrees: “To let them know that this conversation will be flirtatious, I typically blatantly start them off that way… I have been known to say “Hey there hot stuff”. I’ve also done this via text. Actually I’m a huge text-flirter, but that is always more blatant than AIM because it’s usually late at night and alcohol-fueled.”
(p.s. Melissa is still single if you’re interested after reading that.)
Any sort of extension to a word is good. For example Heyyyyyy or Byyyyee are always good signs. Here’s what my future wife had to say after she went through saved AIM conversations between me and her (apparently this is common among broads):
“Apparently, I thought I was Tony the Tiger and I needed to extend all my vowels with lots of letters “greeeeatttt!” or Hiiiiiiiii! or Byeeeeeee or I knowwwww (there was a lot of that one). I still think I do these things too!”
(You better not still do those things. Who are you still flirting with?)
Capital letters that accentuate a point are good as well. Once again here’s what my fiancé noticed when digging through some old conversations:
“I always seemed to be really excited about anything that you said. CAPITAL letters and all WOW nice! to anything that you said whether I understood it or not.”
This is one I learned when asking a few of my friends. Apparently girls will use hehe instead of Haha or lol when they think something is funny.
This is what Sarah had to say: “I feel like girls tend to write”hehe” when flirting… makes the laugh a little cuter.”
Amanda feels the same way: “I tend to do the hee hees and do minor sexual inuendos as well when I flirt.”
THEY SAY GOODBYE FIRST
This was another one I was unaware of before starting this post. I had multiple responses from my “focus group” saying they always would try to sign off first. Apparently they want to make it look like they are busy.
This is what my fiancé had to say: “I also tried to come off busy and tried to end the conversation first. I would always say I was going out with friends or to a bar and if he wanted to stop by that would be cool. I would say all sorts of things to show him that I was busy and would not be waiting around for his next move.”
This could get confusing since a girl who is not interested will likely sign off first as well. This is why you need to pay attention to the other flirtation signals listed above. If you get an extended goodbye or an add-on than you might be getting lucky really soon.
Guys, what are your thoughts? Have you noticed these? Ladies, if you’re out there, did I miss any? Be sure to comment about it.
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