How to Keep Your Girl From Getting Fat

When you first met your girl she had an amazing body. She was thin, shapely and irresistible. Just the thought of her naked made your dick go from six-to-twelve. You knew she was a keeper so you gave up on the single life and decided to lock her up long term.

But now after dating her for a long time she’s begun to grow comfortable with you…a little too comfortable. She no longer feels the need to look good because she thinks you love her unconditionally and that it doesn’t matter what she looks like. The MMA Workout Program DVD you bought, in hopes of getting her to use it, is collecting dust and she spends most nights sitting like a lump on the couch, sucking down Haagen-Dazs and watching reality television. This has caught up to her over time and that once sexy body of hers has now become a shell of its former self, equipped with a muffin top, sloppy breasts and cottage cheese ass. Now the thought of her naked makes your dick shrivel like a frightened turtle.

What is a man to do?

We all know that no matter how much you like a girl’s personality, there still has to be some level of physical attraction. You could go the easy route and just dump her, but if you do kind of like this girl or if breaking up isn’t a viable option (i.e. you’re already married or have kids) and want to give it a chance to work, there are a few things you can do to get her back in shape.

We also know that you have to be very careful when addressing the subject of weight gain with your woman. You can’t just tell her straight out she is a fatty. You have to tread the subject carefully.

In this article, I have outlined a number of ways to get your girl back in shape without ever having to be brutally honest like Abe Lincoln in that GEICO commercial.

Unfortunately if you are serious about getting your girl to lose weight, it’s going to involve some sacrifices. Many of the items on this list will take some hard work and dedication on your part, but if executed properly, you will both benefit from it.


#1 Eat Better in Front of Her
If your girl sees you eating better, there’s a good chance she will follow suit. Think about all the couples you know. Don’t their body types always seem to be proportionate? How often do you see a really skinny man married to a large woman? Typically if one person is thin, the other is as well. If one person is fat, then the significant other is likely to be packing on the pounds.

A recent study confirms that the eating habits of people around you can influence your own eating habits. If your woman sees you eating better, there’s a good chance she will think twice before reaching for another handful of potato chips.

Feel free to eat what you want when she’s not around but when you are eating meals together, try and eat something healthy. If you are living together don’t buy junk food. If you don’t live together, hide the junk food when she comes over. She can’t be tempted to eat food that isn’t there.

You may also want to cut down on the number of times you go out to eat together. Aside from the benefit of saving money by eating meals prepared at home, you can also benefit from a lower intake of calories. A study by the Economic Research Service has shown that each additional meal or snack eaten away from home adds an average of 134 calories that day, compared to the same meals or snacks prepared at home. The study also goes on to say that one additional meal away from home each week translated to roughly two extra pounds each year!


#2 Exercise with Her
More hard work on your part, but the same rule applies here. If she sees you constantly going to the gym or going for a run, she is more likely to get her dumpy ass of the couch, turn off whatever Kardashian-themed reality show she is watching and exercise.

I know my wife and I tend to influence each other’s exercise habits. We try to run together at least a few times a week now that the weather is nice. But if one of us gives in and decides to skip the run after work, the other one usually follows.

If your heffer of a girlfriend/ wife still won’t budge off the couch, even though you’ve been making her well aware of your exercise habits, there is another subtle approach you can take. Ask her if she’d like to work out with you. Don’t tell her it’s because she is starting to resemble Kirstie Alley but explain to her that it can be a bonding experience. Exercise is an activity that you can do together which will bring you closer. Girls eat that type of stuff up.


#3 Teach her how to Drink Efficiently
Perhaps the reason your girl is packing on the pounds is because of her love of cocktails. Maybe she frequents happy hour or binge drinks often on the weekend. Alcohol is often a main culprit in weight gain. Aside from trying to get her to cut down on the booze, you can refer her to the Efficient Drinker, a web site that calculates which drinks can get a person drunk with the fewest number of calories.

For example, maybe your girl is a fan of cranberry vodkas. Well did you know that an 8 oz. drink of cranberry juice and vodka is 227 calories!?? If she has a handful of those in a night, you are looking at over 1,000 calories for the day just in drinks!

Tell her how you stumbled across this web site one day and mention how her favorite drink is very high in calories. Perhaps you should even exaggerate the facts to really get the full effect…Maybe mention how a couple of your favorite drinks stack up as first, so she doesn’t think you are singling her out. Perhaps next time she is at the bar, she will think twice before ordering.


#4 Plan a Vacation to a Beach Location
If a girl knows she is going on a vacation where she will need to wear a bathing suit, she will definitely be motivated to shed a few pounds. This method will cost you some money but at least you’ll receive multiple benefits: (1) you’ll have an enjoyable vacation, (2) you will score some points with the woman and (3) hopefully she will drop a few pounds in the weeks leading up to the trip.

I recommend making it a winter getaway because that’s probably the time of year she will be carrying the most weight.


#5 If Not Already Married…Propose to Her!
You might say this solution goes against all logic. Why propose to a girl who keeps getting fatter? Yes, this is a very risky and expensive decision and the solution may only be temporary but I can promise you that a girl with a wedding looming is going to be motivated to lose weight—and A LOT of it. A girl dreams about her wedding day since childhood and I guarantee she never pictured herself being fat. Almost all women will do what they have to do to lose a few pounds before the big day. If your girl still can’t get herself in shape by her wedding day then it doesn’t bode well for you.

Certainly don’t make this your main motivation for getting married, but perhaps this can help make your decision to pop the question a little easier knowing that you’ll get at least a few months of her old body back. The hard part is getting her to keep it off once you get married. If that turns out to be the case, I refer you to the suggestions outlined previously.

Best of luck in your quest to get your girl sexy again. If you execute these suggestions properly, you will both feel better about yourselves and you should be able to revitalize your dormant sex life.

13 comments for “How to Keep Your Girl From Getting Fat

  1. From Fat to Thin
    June 7, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    Just wanted to let you all know that if this is what is really important in a relationship, that relationship is in the shitter to begin with. I too got comfortable with my relationship and let myself go. When my man said something about it, I realized I could do so much better. I worked really hard and got my hot body back… then I left the asshole for a better man. :)

  2. Mr. Cleavage
    June 9, 2011 at 10:49 pm

    And you think the new guy won’t dump you in a second as soon as you “let yourself go” again? (You KNOW you like Panera Bread and Starbucks double-mochas too much to stay thin, sweetheart). I hope he at least tea-bags your chubby face one last time on his way out.

  3. June 10, 2011 at 10:30 am

    Mr. Cleavage never disappoints!

  4. Willing Unable
    July 3, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    Even as a woman I actually appreciate this article because it goes both ways. Got married, man let himself go…I’m willing to put in the efforts suggested here to help him out but what can I do about his small package (if you know what I mean). Come on guys – some of you must have some tricks to compensate you could suggest. I really need a good hard f*** and at this point it doesn’t really seem to be forthcoming. Do any of those enzymes etc… they advertise really work?

  5. July 3, 2011 at 3:17 pm

    haha. That could be a little more difficult @willing unable. I couldn’t say if any of those products really work. You may be stuck with a man with a small package. My only suggestion is that maybe he should go “downtown” more. Maybe he can do a better job of pleasing you that way.

  6. LOLLERSKATES
    August 18, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    Found this page after googling “bullshit interviews” as I am sick of looking for a higher paid job.

    Anyway… Willing Unable, thanks for the laugh… that made me giggle so much that I am actually cheered up :)

    Oooh and I just want to say, I totally realise now that this is what my partner has done to me *shock*. Don’t care though as I had no motivation and now I weigh less than when we met :)
    Stronglifts ftw!

  7. Charlie
    August 23, 2011 at 2:59 pm

    Although, as a woman I want to say this is a really sexist and That your a pig, honestly I whole heartedly agree! I have definitely let myself go and try really hard to stay motivated to get rid of the fat but it’s incredibly hard when your man eats everything he wants and still stays in shape! So I have put this page as his home page on his computer so that he reads it and mind fucks me into shape haha! Fingers crossed! Cheers for the new insight! X

  8. August 23, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    Great comment Charlie. My article was not meant to be sexist but to benefit both people in the relationship. You’ll find both parties will be better off if you follow my winning strategy.

  9. September 8, 2011 at 5:58 am

    I actually agree with this articles motives, even if as a female I felt a little marginalized at the onset. Someone mentioned early on in the comments that it goes both ways, men gain weight too. And although we have no dicks to shrivel in horror (thank the gods) A beer gut that makes you look 9 months pregnant is no prise to bring home to mom. (Thought I would be meanish about it) Because it does go both ways–as I prepare the majority of the meals, I can leverage greater control over what my man eats. And although we already workout together, are married and still trim, I told him he should read this, “even though the beginning is mean” because I am always up for a beach centric vacation ;)

  10. Katya
    October 23, 2012 at 2:58 am

    Your a fucking tool, you and everyone else who thinks like this. Your lucky if a girl ANY GIRL of ANY SIZE will even look at your ugly child sized dick never mind let it near her body!
    Just because you have to buy your condoms in the form of finger protectors doesn’t mean you have to take it out on women.

  11. October 25, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    Ooooooh, burn! You got me, Katya!

    P.S. Your is a word that shows possession. You’re means you are.

  12. Zak
    November 1, 2012 at 9:06 pm

    Is there any way that Katya is not a land whale with a simply cavernous vagina?

    I just can’t figure out what else she could be.

    Also, this article is legit advice, like most of the stuff on this website.
    You really have a good understanding of female psychology, Mr. Sacks.

  13. Dad Knows
    August 10, 2013 at 10:10 pm

    Bloody true. Unfortunately, I’ve gently suggested the workout thing and asked my wife if she’ll start joining me when I work out or go running. She tells me she’ll “get back into” her fitness DVDs, which have been gathering dust in the cupboard for five or six years now.

    Nothing changes. We have kids together, so I want to make this work. And I get that giving birth changes women physiologically, but at what point does having given birth to children, the youngest of whom is six years old, start to be just an excuse not to get off her backside and get healthy?

    Since I give a shit about the example I set my kids regarding health and fitness, I don’t think it’s too much for her to also care. Right now, it seems to me like she’s giving me the middle finger.

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