If you’re a regular reader of this web site, you may be familiar with the “Is it Gay” series, where I look at something that may be perceived as gay among men and determine if it’s “gay” or not gay.
While trying to come up with a new addition to this series, I decided to consult Google’s suggested search terms to hopefully come up with a new idea. What I found was both shocking and hysterical. I typed in “Is it Gay” a number of ways and I found some recurring themes, particularly that a lot of men out there are fans of a certain popular boy band.
Let’s take a look at what other actions are concerning homophobic men…
SEARCH TERM: Is it Gay…
As you can see, the third suggested term is “Is it gay to like One Direction” (I know I wouldn’t blast “What Makes You Beautiful” with the car windows open).
Others want to know if watching “Magic Mike” makes them gay (that Channing Tatum is so DREAMY!!) and if it’s gay to wear skinny jeans (straight or gay, no man should EVER wear skinny jeans).
SEARCH TERM: Is it Gay if…
Once again, the male One Direction fans are exposed near the top of the suggested search terms.
Another term that stands out: “Is it gay if a guy has back dimples?” I wasn’t aware that this was a major concern for straight men and I’m really not sure how this correlates with liking penis. But apparently it does!!
Source: Fake Research Center of America
And it’s certainly not gay to buy Toms but I don’t know how anyone can justify paying so much for shoes that look like they were sewn together with rags. I realize they donate a pair of new shoes to a child in need for every pair of shoes purchased but I’m pretty sure even children in need don’t want shoes that look that cheap. Somewhere there is a shoeless kid in Africa who refuses to put on his pair of Toms.
Finally, I have to address one more from this section: Is it gay if the balls don’t touch??? That question opens up so many other questions. Such as, why would one ask that? Here’s one example from the always-reliable source called Yahoo! Answers of why someone might pose this question…
SEARCH TERM: Is it gay for…
I’m beginning to wonder if there are more male One Direction fans than female fans. Apparently it’s an epidemic and no one will admit it—except to Google.
It’s also probably a little gay for a guy to say aww in most circumstances, unless you’re watching this video.
SEARCH TERM: Am I Gay if…
Am I gay if I get turned on by…if the next word in this sentence is men, guys, penis, balls in my mouth, or One Direction then the answer is YES. Speaking of One Direction…here they are again!
In this category, we also see that some guys are hoping that liking chicks with dicks and kissing other men does not make them gay (SPOILER ALERT!: it does).
The most surprising term to me though is “am I gay if I like My Little Pony?” I didn’t realize this was such a concern. Are there a lot of men out there that collect toy ponies from the 1980s?
SEARCH TERM: Are you gay if….
Inexplicably, One Direction is absent from these suggested search terms. It seems they have been replaced by Coldplay (Kind of gay, but not nearly as gay as One Direction). Admittedly, I probably have sung “Viva La Vida” in the shower a few times.
And if you’re wondering, the answer to pretty much all the other questions listed here is probably yes.
On that note, I would like to thank Google and all the men out there who have opened up to Google. You’ve given me an infinite amount of topics to discuss for this series. Be on the look out for Is it Gay?: My Little Pony Edition!
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