Gloria Allred Demonstrates Sex with a Baseball Bat

In what might possibly be the most awkward moment of all-time, high profile attorney Gloria Allred decided to demonstrate anal sex with a baseball bat in front of small children at a press conference on Thursday.

Yes you read that sentence correctly.

Allred was reenacting a recent incident involving Atlanta Braves pitching coach Roger McDowell, where McDowell made homophobic slurs and gestures toward some fans.

Take a look at the video…

There is so much to love about this video but here are a few of my favorite parts…

At the 0:47 mark, Allred quotes McDowell by saying “Are you two giving it to each other up the ass?” Except she doesn’t want to say the word ass, so instead she comes up with what sounded like “The crude word for rear-end.”

Then at the 2:00 minute mark, the poor bastard in the pink tie is asked to help demonstrate the lewd gesture that McDowell made to the fans. Then, for what seems like forever, Allred begins simulating sex with a baseball bat through the fingers of Pink Tie Guy, all while two little girls look on in confusion.

At the 2:04 mark, Pink Tie Guy nods in approval to show Allred that she is indeed demonstrating it properly.

Finally, at the 2:15 mark, Allred pauses and then realizes that maybe she hasn’t demonstrated anal sex with a baseball bat for long enough and continues for 14 more excruciatingly awkward seconds.

You could make a case that this press conference was more offensive than Roger McDowell. What are your thoughts?

5 comments for “Gloria Allred Demonstrates Sex with a Baseball Bat

  1. May 3, 2011 at 9:31 pm


    OM..freakin..G! Some questions:

    Why did the two girls need to sit in on this press conference and why were they shuffling paper like they were tv news anchors? Also surely her description of the incident was sufficient. Also why did the poor lacky have to be the simulated orifice? why did he have to receive? She could have at least given him a simulated reach around in appreciation.

  2. May 4, 2011 at 10:44 am

    haha…all good points Dr. Faust. You’re right. Pink Tie Guy should have at least had the opportunity to give instead of receive. That way he could maintain some shred of dignity.

  3. May 8, 2011 at 11:51 pm

    Gloria Allred…proof that getting a law degree and passing the bar doesn’t mean you’ve got a brain.

    It was wrong and offensive for McDowell to do what he did with the bat. But then to have their father do it, not once, but twice? If having a stranger do it would cause mental harm, wouldn’t it be even worse to have their father do it? And not just once, but twice?

    Oh, by the way, Allred, you’re a rich attorney, and you can’t afford to update your hairdo from, uh…hell, man, Dallas and Dynasty?

  4. Mr. Cleavage
    May 10, 2011 at 10:28 pm

    OK…Just got back from China (where they’ve never heard of an uptight bitch named Gloria Allred) and I think I’ve ruptured my spleen from laughing so hard!!
    Let me get this “straight”, tree-hugging Gloria Allred is so offended by these actions that she feels the need to re-enact the anal sex simulation (in front of a pair of 8-year old girls taking notes, mind you) with their father standing there in a PINK TIE in her San Francisco office. This is wrong on so many levels, I could go on and on…
    But then I happened to gaze upon Morticia Addams standing back there, and couldn’t help but fantasize about her in black panties and a $10K boob job, and all was right in the world again. I love this country.

  5. Mike
    May 11, 2011 at 5:29 pm

    Particularly interesting that she seems to like a 12″ stroke.

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