One year earlier, then Oakland A’s pitcher Brandon McCarthy was struck in the head with a line drive and required emergency surgery after suffering an epidural hemorrhage, a brain contusion and a skull fracture.

And it seems like every year, this happens at least once during the Major League Baseball season.

It’s only a matter of time before a pitcher is killed.

It’s time for Major League Baseball, and all levels of baseball, to be proactive and require pitchers to wear helmets.

Hitters stand 60 feet, 6 inches away form home plate. A baseball has the potential to strike their head at a top speed of 100 mph. Hitters are in a good position to protect themselves. They have been required to wear helmets since 1959.

In 2007, minor league baseball first base coach Mike Coolbaugh was struck with a line drive in the neck and died. The next year base coaches were required to wear helmets. Base coaches stand 90 feet away from home plate and are in a good position to protect themselves.

Pitchers are about 55 feet away from home plate at the time they finish their delivery and they are in a vulnerable position when they release the ball. The exit speed off a bat can reach almost 120 miles per hour. Yet pitchers do not wear helmets.

I played baseball throughout my youth and into college. At 16, I was hit in the head by a line drive and spent three days in intensive care with internal bleeding. I was fortunate that my internal bleeding was outside my skull and not in my brain. Otherwise I would have also required emergency surgery. I know that I am one of just many baseball players at all levels to have this happen.

Shortly after that time, metal bats companies were required to reduce the weight differential from -5 to -3 in high school and college, which helped to slow the exit speeds off the bat. Some colleges and high schools have also switched to wood bats in recent years.

But its time for all levels of baseball, from the majors through little league to take the next step. Pitchers need to start wearing helmets.

Now, since I did pitch for many years, I realize this is a little more complicated than putting helmets on batters. There are lots of moving parts in a pitching motion, and putting a bulky helmet on could alter mechanics and could potentially cause arm problems. In a sport where the smallest change in mechanics can mean the difference between being a superstar and being out of the game, many professionals will oppose this.

Certainly there would be an adjustment period. I imagine it was weird at first for batters to wear a helmet. But they adjusted and now it’s the norm. I think eventually helmets for pitchers will be the norm also.

Some companies, particularly Easton, have already worked on a prototype for a pitcher’s helmet. It’s a padded contraption that goes over the hat and is much lighter than a hitter’s helmet. Even if its not perfect and a little weird-looking, some protection is better than none.

Maybe the solution is to start at the lowest levels so future generations of major leaguers will be accustomed to it. Certainly little leaguers are the most vulnerable, given their age and lack of skill, coupled with the fact that there is often quite a disparity in talent. If wearing helmets is all young pitchers know, then it won’t be an issue for the ones that reach the highest levels of baseball in the future.

Let’s hope this gets done before it’s too late.

There’s a lot that goes on in your head when you realize you are going to be a father. I must admit, my first reaction was one of terror. Even though we were actively trying to have a child, when I looked at that positive pregnancy test, it became real. It’s terrifying for so many reasons. The biggest reason for me, is the fear of the unknown. I know nothing about taking care of a child. What goes into caring for a baby each day? What if we don’t have enough money to support him? How will I balance work and childcare? What if he has health problems? Will my wife’s vagina ever be the same?  These are all the pressing questions that crossed my mind.

After the initial shock of finding out wore down, I calmed down a bit but I usually have a mini freak-out at least once per day. It’s a life-changing experience. One day I’m completely free to do as I please and I only need to worry about myself. Then the next day, a helpless human being arrives and I am responsible to, not only keep this child alive but teach him and discipline him and give him the love that every human being desires…That’s a lot to take on.

The first time that terrifying feeling lessoned was when we got our first ultrasound. Seeing the heartbeat, even though it was the size of bean at the time was awe-inspiring (after seeing that, I don’t know how anyone can argue that life doesn’t begin at conception).

And with every subsequent ultrasound, as the baby begins to take shape, it becomes less terrifying and more exciting. To think that I am going to create life is a pretty cool feeling (I also think it could potentially create some great material for this web site!).

I also came to the realization that there are much dumber people than me who have children and they manage to make it work. Surely I can do the same. I know that there will be challenges ahead but I am confident that I can handle it and I know that I will do everything I can to be a great a father.

That being said, I still could use some help. So any fathers reading this, if you have a good tip for this father-to-be, feel free to leave it in the comment section.

Rather than just showcasing one or two people that have sick perversions, I’ve decided to take a look at the top 50 keywords that have brought people here to see what kind of trends I can find.  After reviewing this list, I’ve discovered some interesting concerns that many men have. Some are not surprising at all, while others raised an eyebrow.

Top Two Search Terms to LWB: Tits or Ass and Ass or Tits

Not surprising that this is the top two search terms.  Men like ass and men like tits.  They also like to look at tits and ass on the Internet.  However, the surprising trend is that it appears that many women are typing this in to Google.  Apparently, self-conscious women everywhere who are lacking in one area are hoping men prefer their more attractive feature.   Comments on the referring post: Tits or Ass? The Great Debate are mixed.  So at this point, there is no clear winner on which one men prefer more.

3 of the Top 10 search terms involves determining if a woman likes you over text messages or instant messages. 

Apparently many men are too pussy to talk to women face-to-face these days. Because when you combine these top 3 terms, it is overwhelmingly the most referred term to my site.  Lots of guys are looking for clues as to whether girls they are texting with are interested in having actual physical contact.  This was in response to my post: How to Tell A Girls Likes You Over Instant Messages and Text Messages.  Similar keywords were also ranked # 13, 14 and 15.

I have also noticed that many of these people searching for answers on this topic seem pretty clueless and also very sad, as illustrated by this comment. (Do yourself a favor and read the comment linked.  If you ever feel down about your ability to pick up women, just read this guys comment and you’ll feel better).

Many men want to go to bars alone but are concerned about how they will be perceived

I had a post that asked the question: Is it ok to go to a bar alone?  It was a lighthearted piece, as most post on here are, but apparently this is a serious concern among men, as this came in at #6 in my most searched terms.

Whatever Balls.com sells, it brought me lots of visitors by mistake. 

I’m not sure if Balls.com sells sporting equipment or if it just has pictures of men’s balls.  I didn’t bother to look it up but I get a good amount of people coming to Living with Balls by mistake.  I also got a fair amount of visitors from people looking for ballsacs.com. There’s no confusing what that web site is.

Men are looking for a proper way to rate women on a scale of 1-10

The search term hotness scale comes in, coincidentally, at #10 on my most popular keywords.  I did this post a while back after being fed up with men proclaiming how they recently got with a “10.”  My hotness scale clearly defines each number and makes a 10 the extremely rare occurrence that it should be. It seems to have gained popularity on the web, as it is the fifth highest rank for that search term on Google.

A 10 on the LWB Hotness is scale is extremely rare–like Hope Diamond rare.  A 10 is absolute perfection.  Is there anyone who is physically perfect?

I’m not sure how to answer that but Kate Upton is pretty damn close.  She’s a modern-day Marilyn Monroe.  Upton is a gorgeous. She has mesmerizing, natural breasts that posses the perfect combination of perkiness and bounce. And the rest of her body matches up well with those fantastic breasts of hers.

Her breasts have gotten her on the cover of two Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues, inspired a ten-hour Youtube video and consumed the fantasies of teenage boys everywhere.  In era of easily accessible, FREE pornography, she made the SI swimsuit issue a must-buy once again.  Her videos on Youtube have millions of hits.  I’ve watched her Cat Daddy dance more times than I care to admit.

But is she a 10? Is there anyone out there who can be a 10 on the strict, LWB Hotness Scale?

I debated this issue with my good friend, and old contributor to this web site, Frank Wheeler.  I had her at a 9.5 initially, unwilling to hand out the perfect 10 rating.  But he may have convinced me otherwise with his simple logic.  He said, “If Kate Upton isn’t a 10, who is??”

It seems silly to me that I had to take those classes now, as I look back on it. Most of these general education classes proved to be a waste of time. None of these classes proved to be beneficial to me when I entered the real world. Outside of being able to answer a few more questions on Jeopardy and beat my friends in Trivial Pursuit, those general education classes haven’t been much help. Sorry, but the Art History class I took has not in the least bit helped me through life’s challenges or allowed me to earn any extra money.

Now that I’m nearly a decade removed from college, I’ve realized there are a number of classes that certainly could have proved to be beneficial had they been offered to me in college. But for the most part, these classes do not exist across college campuses. I’ve realized that most of the time, we are forced to learn on the fly when it comes to some of life’s biggest challenges. It certainly would have been nice to have some guidance on the issues below.

Here are some college course offerings that every school should have…

Expectant Parents 101

Finding out you are going to be a father for the first time can be overwhelming–Mainly because you’ll have no clue what the fuck you are doing. There is so much you need to know and no one ever gives you any real sort of advice other than telling you that life as you know it, is over.

There are so many questions to ask. How do I handle my pregnant wife? What things do I need to buy before the baby comes? How do I find a good pediatrician? Should I preserve the blood cord when the baby is born? Should I look at my wife’s vagina while she’s giving birth?

I could go on but there are hundreds of questions a first-time father could ask. Surely, this class would be beneficial to a lot of people and it might even scare away some students from having unpredicted sex, saving lots of unwanted pregnancies and preventing the spread of STDs.

You could also have a 200 level course that would follow the Expectant Parents class. It could focus on some of the challenges that come about once the baby arrives.

Wedding Planning

When it comes to planning a wedding, you and your fiance are going to have a lot of decisions to make. You need to pick a wedding venue, choose between a DJ or band, hire a photographer, hire a florist, figure out who is in the wedding party, and much, much more.

It would have been nice to get advice about what options are worth spending the extra buck and where you are better off cutting back. You could learn about what to register for and wedding day do’s and dont’s. The guys could also benefit from a lesson on buying an engagement ring. I didn’t know shit when I bought my wife an engagement ring and it probably cost me a lot of money.

Home Buying and Home Repair

This is another challenge that most people don’t learn anything about until it comes time to actually take part in it. No one warns you what you are getting yourself into when buying a home. No one tells you about the best way to obtain a loan or how to spot red flags when looking at homes. No one gave me advice on the best way to negotiate a price with the seller or how much to expect to pay in closing costs. It wasn’t until I was in the process of buying a home did I learn all the things I needed to know. Buying a home was a very stressful experience. Certainly this stress could have been eased had I been prepared for it during college.

You could also have another class that focuses on basic home repair. How do you fix a leaky sink? How can you paint a room like a professional? How do you put up drywall or change a thermostat? These are just a few basic skills I wish I had learned prior to owning a home. Instead, I wasted my time taking three credits of Philosophy.

Shit Happens 100

This class would prepare you for all the shitty situations you are bound to find yourself in life, while also helping you to avoid them. Here are just a couple examples of a situation you could be better prepared for.

Insurance-related issues
You get in a car accident. What steps do you take immediately following a car accident? In the event of a serious accident, how much insurance is necessary to cover me so that my assets are protected? What coverage for my home and auto is necessary and what is a waste of money? How about umbrella policies? What about life insurance? How much life insurance coverage do I get? Is term or whole life better?

Lose your job
You just got fired. You have a mortgage and two kids and not much money in the bank. What steps can you take to keep afloat until you can get another job?

There are plenty of other shitty situations in life that a person could be more prepared for. This class would definitely help.

Job Interviewing

I know that some schools offer the class. In fact my wife took it in college and said it was the only class she has actually used in her professional career. But perhaps this should be a mandatory class.

Kids coming out of college don’t know the right steps on interviews. I know I didn’t. As someone who interviews a lot of college interns in my job, I see that firsthand. I constantly see kids completely unprepared, who know nothing about the organization they are interviewing to work for. I see many who don’t dress properly and many who don’t send thank you notes.  Many people’s resumes are so poorly crafted, they can’t even get a shot at an interview. Since college is supposed to prepare student’s for their careers, it only makes sense that this class be required for all students. This class would have been a lot more handy than the nine credits of Theology I had to take at the Catholic school I attended. Sorry, Jesus, but it’s true.

Have any other fictional college classes that you wish you could have taken? Leave a comment in the comment section!

Editors Note: They keep pulling this video off of a youtube. Here’s a link to another web site where you can view the clip.

Two years ago, I was struggling to decide on what team to bet in the Super Bowl so I decided to consult my good luck charm—my wife.  My wife, Mrs. Sacks, knows next to nothing about football.  Yet amazingly, she accurately predicted the Packers would defeat the Steelers in Super Bowl 45.   The next year I decided to try my luck again, and this time, she not only predicted that the Giants would cover the spread but that they would win outright over the Patriots in Super Bowl 46.

So here am I again trying to pick between two evenly-matched teams.  I’m having trouble deciding between the 49ers and the Ravens.  So for a third straight year, I’m looking to my wife, who doesn’t know the difference between a punt and field goal, to handicap the Super Bowl.  Here’s how the conversation went (This conversation is completely real).

Johnny Sacks: So here we are again.  Let’s see if you can make it 3-for-3.  First, give me some of your impressions about San Francisco.

Mrs. Sacks:  San Francisco is a pretty cool city. It’s very hilly.  I noticed a lot of people smoke pot there and there are lots of vegans. It has a much different vibe than New York.

Johnny Sacks: That’s great but what about the football team that plays there?  Can you tell me anything about the 49ers?

Mrs. Sacks: Not really.  All I know is that the headquarters for my job are in San Francisco and that all my co-workers are rooting for the 49ers.

Johnny Sacks:  Ok then. How about Baltimore? Do you know anything about the Ravens?

Mrs. Sacks: Other than it being a bird?  No.

Johnny Sacks: Ok. Well let’s attempt to get into the specifics of the game. The two coaches in the game, Jim Harbaugh and John Harbaugh, are brothers. Do you think the fact that they are brothers will have any affect on the outcome of the game?

Mrs. Sacks: Yes. Because their parents have to pick one side.

Johnny Sacks: Not sure what difference that would make. If you were their parents, whom would you root for?

Mrs. Sacks: The team with the better colors.

Johnny Sacks:  haha..ok. Moving on. Baltimore QB Joe Flacco has really elevated his game the past few weeks. Do you think he can continue his great play against a tough San Francisco 49ers defense?

Mrs. Sacks: I guess so. He got to the Super Bowl. He has to have done something right to get this far.

Johnny Sacks: That might be the first somewhat intelligent, reasoned argument you have given me in three years doing this. Let’s see if you can keep this up. Will the Ravens be able to stop the dynamic QB Colin Kaepernick in this game?

Mrs. Sacks: No because he has a cool name.  Usually people with cool names are successful.

Johnny Sacks: And we were doing so well. Last questions before we get to your pick.  Do you think the Ravens are feeling a little extra motivation to win the Super Bowl being that Ray Lewis is retiring?

Mrs. Sacks: Who is Ray Lewis?

Johnny Sacks: You don’t know who Ray Lewis is??? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO HE IS??

Mrs. Sacks: I don’t know who any of these people are! Is he the manager?

Johnny Sacks: The manager? No. He is not the manager.  There are no managers in football. There are coaches and we just talked about the Harbaugh brothers being the coaches.  Let’s just get your pick.  The 49ers are favored by 3.5 points over the Ravens.  Who do you like to cover the spread and what is the final score?

Mrs. Sacks:  Hmm…I’ll say the Ravens. Final score 29-16.

Johnny Sacks: That’s kind of a weird score for a football game, but ok. We’ll go with it.  Take the Ravens +3.5!

If you are one of those degenerates, then you came to the right place.  This Super Bowl drinking game is guaranteed to get you FUCKED UP. But as I do every year, I must warn you with this disclaimer…

This drinking game is not for the casual drinker. Proceed with caution. Living with Balls is not responsible if you get violently ill or die from playing this game. I recommend you adjust the rules to your tolerance or just quit playing when you’re good and drunk.

I have set up a game for both beer and shots. You’re welcome to do one or the other, or play both.  God help you if you try playing both.   Here’s the Super Bowl 47 Drinking Game. 

BEER

Drink for four seconds every time a team gets a first down

Drink for four seconds every time there is a punt

Every time a team scores, drink two times the amount of points that are scored (i.e for a touchdown drink for 12 seconds, for a field goal drink for 6 seconds)

Drink for five seconds every time there is a turnover

Drink for two seconds every time a penalty is called

Drink for five seconds every time there is a challenge

Drink an additional ten seconds if a challenge is overturned

Drink for five seconds if a two-point conversion is attempted

Drink for ten seconds if a two-point conversion is successful

Drink for two seconds every time Colin Kaepernick opts to run over handing the ball off to his runningback when running the read-option

Drink for two seconds every time Ray Rice catches a pass out of the backfield

Drink for two seconds every time an announcer says “Harbaugh” 

Drink for two seconds every time you hear or see the phrase “Quest for six”

Drink for four seconds every time the camera shows Alex Smith on the sidelines

Drink for four seconds every time the camera shows Ray Lewis on the sidelines

Drink an additional five seconds if Ray Lewis is seen praying on the sidelines

Drink for four seconds if CBS shows old highlights of Joe Montana

Drink for four seconds every time there is a Bud of Bud Light commercial

Drink for four seconds every time there is a Go Daddy commercial

Take a quick drink every time you see a Pepsi logo during the halftime show

Drink for four seconds every time CBS plugs “Elementary,” which airs after the game

SHOTS

Take a shot if the national anthem is longer than 1 minute, 50 seconds

Take a shot if the coin flip is tails

Take a shot when Jim Nantz says “hello friends” at the start of the game

Take a shot when Ray Lewis does his stupid dance during pre-game

Take a shot anytime someone on the 49ers with the last name Smith gets a sack

Take a shot if Ed Reed gets an interception

Take a shot if any announcer makes a reference to Michael Oher and the movie “The Blindside”

Take a shot if Colin Kaepernick rushes for a touchdown

Take a shot if Anquan Boldin catches a touchdown

Take a shot if Jay-Z appears during Beyonce’s halftime show

Take a shot if Destiny’s Child appears during Beyonce’s halftime show

Take a shot if the game goes into overtime

Take a shot if a quarterback is named Super Bowl MVP

The winner of your of the box pool at your party must take a shot

Take a shot if the 49ers win

Take a shot if the Ravens win

FACIAL RECOGNITION PORNOGRAPHY

What exactly is facial recognition pornography and how would it work?

Well, perhaps its best for me to give you a real life example of how this might benefit society…

No matter how you spend your day, there is probably a woman in your life (outside your girlfriend/ wife) that you come across regularly that you are very attracted to.  Perhaps it’s a co-worker who sits at the cubicle across from you who wears tight blouses that accentuate her perfectly-shaped breasts. Or maybe it’s the girl who sits in front of you in class whose thong sticks out of her jeans every time she leans forward.  Or maybe it’s your girlfriend’s best friend, who you secretly want to bang more than your own girlfriend.

Whoever it may be, at some point, you’ve probably come home at the end of the day and masturbated to this girl.  You probably did this in one of three ways…

1. Closed your eyes and imagined yourself having sex with this person.

2. Located a picture of her and stared at it while you jacked it

3. Went on an internet porn site, searched through countless number of videos and tried to find a video that somewhat resembled the girl of your desire.

None of these options are really ideal.  The first option lacks a visual stimulation.  The second option is just a still picture.  A video would be more ideal.  And the final option takes a long time and may not be able to be found at all.  Eventually you’ll probably just give up and settle for one of the most recently uploaded videos on the main page.

This is where my idea for facial recognition pornography comes into play.  With facial recognition pornography, you could upload a picture of a girl to a web site that would use facial recognition to scan the most popular free porn sites to find the porn star that most closely resembles the features of the girl you desire.  Even if you didn’t have a picture of this girl, finding one these days isn’t too difficult.  All you have do is be friends on Facebook or do a quick Google image search and you can probably find one.

I feel like this is completely feasible.  Maybe we aren’t quite there yet with facial recognition technology but we have to be close.  I uploaded a picture of myself while creating my character in Madden ’13 recently.  My guy looks exactly like me.  It’s incredible.  Surely with a little hard work, facial recognition porn can be done.

Now I know what some of you may be thinking.  This is kinda creepy.  And you’d be absolutely right.  But I guarantee millions of men would use it if it were made readily available.  And I bet if you’re reading this, you’d probably be at least a little curious to check it out.  Even if you had no intention of using it and you were just curious to see what porn star your girlfriend or wife most resembles.

Someone go make this happen.

EDITORS NOTE: Turns out after writing this article, I did a quick Google search and discovered that porn web site Naughty America is already developing this technology.  For the record, I have had this idea for a while and shared it with my friends a long time ago. I decided to post this anyway because I don’t post much these days and I already spent all this time writing it. I think you’ll be entertained regardless.

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