Fantasy Baseball Murphy’s Law

A better kind of fantasy baseball

I’ve been playing fantasy baseball for many years now. Baseball is my favorite sport and I follow it more closely than any other sport, yet I have yet to win a fantasy baseball title—EVER. It’s beyond frustrating. It seems like no matter how hard I prepare for a draft, or how closely I monitor free agents during the season, something always goes wrong. This season is already shaping up to be another shitty one.  When it comes to fantasy baseball, I subscribe to Murphy’s Law—the belief that anything that can go wrong, WILL go wrong.

Here is my “Fantasy Baseball Murphy’s Law” list

The perennial all-star you draft in the first round will have the worst year of his career the year you draft him

The following year, when you pass him over, he will dominate the league

The ace pitcher you draft will announce he is having Tommy John surgery two days after your draft ended

Your best closer will lose the job one month into the season

The guy in your league with five closers will pick up his replacement minutes before you do

You will drop a set-up man the day before he is announced as the new closer

When you finally beat someone to a new closer, he will get hit all over the place and destroy your ERA before being demoted again (see Mark Melancon)

Your relief pitchers will never vulture any wins. But your opponent’s relief pitchers will vulture plenty.

You finally decide to bench a guy after a prolonged slump. The day you bench him, he hits a home run.

You put him back in the lineup the next day and he goes 0-4 with 3 K’s

When torn between starting or benching one of your starting pitchers on the day of his start, whatever decision you make will be the wrong one. If you start him, he will get rocked. If you bench him he’ll throw a no-hitter (this actually happened to me last year, when shitty Francisco Liriano threw a no-hitter).

Francisco Liriano-no hitter

On a day where you finally get great starting pitching from several guys, one of your relief pitchers will get hit around and ruin your team ERA for the day.

If your starting pitcher leaves the game with a lead, a relief pitcher will always blow the win

If your starting pitcher leaves a tie game with a man on base, the relief pitcher will always allow that run to score and your pitcher will be credited with a loss

If your pitcher is in line for a loss, his team’s offense will never pick him up to tie the game and get him a no-decision

If your league uses quality starts, your pitcher will removed after 5 2/3 innings

If you trade a player because you are deep in a certain position, (i.e. lots of starting pitching), you will be hit with a rash of injuries to that position immediately following the trade.

If you trade away a slumping superstar, he will go on a tear the day the trade was completed

If you trade for a player having a big year, he will get hurt within days of him being on your roster

No matter how many DL slots you have, you will always have one more injured player than allotted DL slots.

Have any other ones? Share it in the comment section. If they’re good, I will add them to the post.  

4 comments for “Fantasy Baseball Murphy’s Law

  1. Deuce McGee
    April 18, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    I haven’t read this yet — I just clicked on it because of the picture. I’ll read it now.

  2. Deuce McGee
    April 18, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    “The guy in your league with five closers will pick up his replacement minutes before you do.” I tried to be this guy and snatched up……..Mark Melancon. Whoops.

  3. April 19, 2012 at 11:30 am

    I’m going to add this one…You have Matt Cain on your team and he throws 9 shutout innings and allows 2 hits and you still don’t get a win.

  4. April 22, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    Try being a Red Sox fan and you pick your favorite players with your heart instead of stats. Fail. Blow a 9-0 lead…yup.

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