Someone Go Make This Idea a Reality

guy-at-computerI’ve recently come up with a million-dollar idea.  However, I lack the knowledge or the drive to make the idea a reality.  So I’m going to share it with everyone in the hopes that someone can invent it and so that men everywhere can benefit from it.  The idea is…

FACIAL RECOGNITION PORNOGRAPHY

What exactly is facial recognition pornography and how would it work?

Well, perhaps its best for me to give you a real life example of how this might benefit society…

No matter how you spend your day, there is probably a woman in your life (outside your girlfriend/ wife) that you come across regularly that you are very attracted to.  Perhaps it’s a co-worker who sits at the cubicle across from you who wears tight blouses that accentuate her perfectly-shaped breasts. Or maybe it’s the girl who sits in front of you in class whose thong sticks out of her jeans every time she leans forward.  Or maybe it’s your girlfriend’s best friend, who you secretly want to bang more than your own girlfriend.

Whoever it may be, at some point, you’ve probably come home at the end of the day and masturbated to this girl.  You probably did this in one of three ways…

1. Closed your eyes and imagined yourself having sex with this person.

2. Located a picture of her and stared at it while you jacked it

3. Went on an internet porn site, searched through countless number of videos and tried to find a video that somewhat resembled the girl of your desire.

None of these options are really ideal.  The first option lacks a visual stimulation.  The second option is just a still picture.  A video would be more ideal.  And the final option takes a long time and may not be able to be found at all.  Eventually you’ll probably just give up and settle for one of the most recently uploaded videos on the main page.

This is where my idea for facial recognition pornography comes into play.  With facial recognition pornography, you could upload a picture of a girl to a web site that would use facial recognition to scan the most popular free porn sites to find the porn star that most closely resembles the features of the girl you desire.  Even if you didn’t have a picture of this girl, finding one these days isn’t too difficult.  All you have do is be friends on Facebook or do a quick Google image search and you can probably find one.

I feel like this is completely feasible.  Maybe we aren’t quite there yet with facial recognition technology but we have to be close.  I uploaded a picture of myself while creating my character in Madden ’13 recently.  My guy looks exactly like me.  It’s incredible.  Surely with a little hard work, facial recognition porn can be done.

Now I know what some of you may be thinking.  This is kinda creepy.  And you’d be absolutely right.  But I guarantee millions of men would use it if it were made readily available.  And I bet if you’re reading this, you’d probably be at least a little curious to check it out.  Even if you had no intention of using it and you were just curious to see what porn star your girlfriend or wife most resembles.

Someone go make this happen.

EDITORS NOTE: Turns out after writing this article, I did a quick Google search and discovered that porn web site Naughty America is already developing this technology.  For the record, I have had this idea for a while and shared it with my friends a long time ago. I decided to post this anyway because I don’t post much these days and I already spent all this time writing it. I think you’ll be entertained regardless.

1 comment for “Someone Go Make This Idea a Reality

  1. Mr. Cleavage
    January 25, 2013 at 4:48 pm

    THIS…IS…EPIC

    I’m starting my list today; Heather from my office, you are FIRST!!!

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