Facebook Pet Peeves

I love Facebook. There are many ways to waste time at work but Facebook is definitely #1 on my list. Blogging is #2.   Facebook brings my level of procrastination to new heights.  However, like anything else, there are things about it that annoy me.  Here is a list of my biggest Facebook pet peeves.

Join My Cause!

Look.  I’m all for curing cancer and putting a stop to drunk driving but joining some Facebook group is not going to fix these problems.  You want me to donate some money? Do a fundraising walk? Fine…But only if you stop flooding my inbox with notifications to join your cause.   

The same can be said for people who send me drinks, or throw sheep at me or send me bumper stickers.  It’s getting out of hand.  

FML

Not familiar with this term?  Than you probably haven’t used Facebook.  It stands for fuck my life and somehow it became a frequently used term on Facebook status updates.  It’s mostly whiney chicks who like to complain about every little trivial problem they have in their life. (i.e. Broke a nail this morning…FML, Woke up late for work. FML!)  Annoying shit like that.  This term is getting thrown around far too often.  It should only be used for stuff that really sucks such as “Why did God make me a Cubs fan? FML” or  “Came home to find my girlfriend getting tag teamed by two dudes in bed. FML!

People who Advertise Their Birthday on Status Updates

Facebook already makes it way to easy to remember people’s birthdays.  You sign on and it’s right there.  “Oh it’s Susie’s birthday today.  She was in my math class back in ninth grade.  Haven’t spoken to her since but let me go write on her wall.” I remember the good old days when people actually had to remember your birthday and pick up the fucking phone to call you. Now Facebook has taken all the pleasure of a friend or family remembering your birthday. 

 There’s no need to advertise your birthday. Facebook does it for you.  Do I really need to read a status update of you telling me it’s your birthday? You don’t get enough attention? 

**On a side note I’ve determined that I subconsciously wish my friends a happy birthday with different forms of technology depending on how close I am with them.  Good friends get a phone call.  The medium range friends get a text message and the people I never talk to get a Facebook post.  Any one else guilty of this?**

Notifications

I remember when Facebook first started back when I was still in college and I loved it because it was so spam free, unlike MySpace.  You could just go on and stalk some hot chick in your biology class and not be bombarded with adds and other garbage.  Now every time some asshole take some quiz or picks his top five I gotta be notified about it. 

Hey Jane Smith took the What 80’s Cartoon are You quiz? You should take it! It’s such a tease.  I hate when I see the red pop-up that says I have notifications and I get excited that someone commented on my page only to find out some guy I met once wants me to be in their mob. 

 Tagging of Photos

I think I should have to approve any photo tagged of me before its goes online.  I have a friend, let’s call her Amy, who likes to tag every picture she took in her camera from the night before, even the horrible ones.  Amy will post the picture of me she took at 2 a.m. on Saturday night after I was 12 beers deep.  I look beat up, my clothes are disheveled and I blinked in the picture. It doesn’t matter.  She’s too lazy to sort through the good pics so she just posts them all.  By the time I have a chance to un-tag it, it’s too late.  10 minutes have passed and half my friends who are on all day at work have already seen them.

People Who Talk about a TV Show That just Aired on their Updates

Has anyone ever had happen this happen to you?  You have to work late, so you DVR your favorite show.  You come home after a tough day at the office, excited to watch your show.  First you warm up some dinner and sign on to Facebook real quick only to find some d-bag has made a comment about the show and ruins it for you (i.e “Holy Shit!  Can you believe Michael killed Ana Lucia and Libby! Or OMG! Tony Almeida is a bad guy! So upset!).   Thanks Dick.  Way to ruin my night.

 People who Post Boring Status Updates

I go to Facebook to kill time and be entertained.  If you are gonna post a status update, make it good.  I don’t want to read messages like… Steve is at work… Bobby is sleeping. You can do better than that.  Get creative! Tell me something interesting! Do you need attention that badly that you have to update me on every mundane detail of your life?

Have any others? Comment about it!


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8 Comments

  1. Katie says:

    Hmmm.. after careful thought… i might be Amy!! :)

  2. John says:

    uhhh…I have no idea what you are talking about!

  3. Larry says:

    Here’s a pet peeve – folks you hardly knew from grade school asking to be your friend. For me this means as many 30 years ago for Chrissake. You didn’t know me – I ‘m not your friend! The fact that we occupied the same building for a few years doesn’t mean I want you in on my life 3 decades later! LOL

  4. John says:

    That’s true Larry. I get people I went to high school who completely ignored me wanting to be my friend on Facebook.

  5. TommyV says:

    Platitudes:

    People who post sentimental lameass platitudes — “Life is a golden gift” or “Follow your passions” — to which other lameasses respond with things like “OMG – that is sooo true!” or “You’re such an inspiration – couldn’t agree more!!!”

    People, get your heads out of fucking cloudcuckooland and try to deal with actual, complicated things in the real, grimy, sometimes good/ sometimes not so good genuine fucking world!

  6. Jennie says:

    Haha- I loved this. I think we’re coming from the same place. Except I have a bone to pick with you when it comes to birthday status updates. Ever since good old Facebook moved the birthdays down to the bottom page, I get about 1/4 of the “happy birthday” wall posts then I used to. You know what man? To me that’s sad, it’s my day and god damnit I need an ego boost. Kidding. Kind of.

    That stupid FML website is responsible for every FML out there. You know what? FML, for the FML website that’s what I have to say to them, pssh. That will show em’. You’re hilarious, keep up the good work.

    P.S Living With Balls, by god one of the best blog titles I’ve seen in awhile.

  7. John says:

    Thanks for the compliment Jennie. It is harder to notice the birthday updates now. I’ll give you that. I’m ok with subtle birthday hints as long as you don’t write something like “6 DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY!!” I see that sometimes. That’s a little much.

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