5 Fake College Classes That Everyone Should Take

college-graduationI remember back when I was in college, my school required all students to take a certain amount of general education classes. These are classes outside of a person’s major that a school decides are important for all student’s to take.

It seems silly to me that I had to take those classes now, as I look back on it. Most of these general education classes proved to be a waste of time. None of these classes proved to be beneficial to me when I entered the real world. Outside of being able to answer a few more questions on Jeopardy and beat my friends in Trivial Pursuit, those general education classes haven’t been much help. Sorry, but the Art History class I took has not in the least bit helped me through life’s challenges or allowed me to earn any extra money.

Now that I’m nearly a decade removed from college, I’ve realized there are a number of classes that certainly could have proved to be beneficial had they been offered to me in college. But for the most part, these classes do not exist across college campuses. I’ve realized that most of the time, we are forced to learn on the fly when it comes to some of life’s biggest challenges. It certainly would have been nice to have some guidance on the issues below.

Here are some college course offerings that every school should have…

Expectant Parents 101

Finding out you are going to be a father for the first time can be overwhelming–Mainly because you’ll have no clue what the fuck you are doing. There is so much you need to know and no one ever gives you any real sort of advice other than telling you that life as you know it, is over.

There are so many questions to ask. How do I handle my pregnant wife? What things do I need to buy before the baby comes? How do I find a good pediatrician? Should I preserve the blood cord when the baby is born? Should I look at my wife’s vagina while she’s giving birth?

I could go on but there are hundreds of questions a first-time father could ask. Surely, this class would be beneficial to a lot of people and it might even scare away some students from having unpredicted sex, saving lots of unwanted pregnancies and preventing the spread of STDs.

You could also have a 200 level course that would follow the Expectant Parents class. It could focus on some of the challenges that come about once the baby arrives.

Wedding Planning

When it comes to planning a wedding, you and your fiance are going to have a lot of decisions to make. You need to pick a wedding venue, choose between a DJ or band, hire a photographer, hire a florist, figure out who is in the wedding party, and much, much more.

It would have been nice to get advice about what options are worth spending the extra buck and where you are better off cutting back. You could learn about what to register for and wedding day do’s and dont’s. The guys could also benefit from a lesson on buying an engagement ring. I didn’t know shit when I bought my wife an engagement ring and it probably cost me a lot of money.

Home Buying and Home Repair

This is another challenge that most people don’t learn anything about until it comes time to actually take part in it. No one warns you what you are getting yourself into when buying a home. No one tells you about the best way to obtain a loan or how to spot red flags when looking at homes. No one gave me advice on the best way to negotiate a price with the seller or how much to expect to pay in closing costs. It wasn’t until I was in the process of buying a home did I learn all the things I needed to know. Buying a home was a very stressful experience. Certainly this stress could have been eased had I been prepared for it during college.

You could also have another class that focuses on basic home repair. How do you fix a leaky sink? How can you paint a room like a professional? How do you put up drywall or change a thermostat? These are just a few basic skills I wish I had learned prior to owning a home. Instead, I wasted my time taking three credits of Philosophy.

Shit Happens 100

This class would prepare you for all the shitty situations you are bound to find yourself in life, while also helping you to avoid them. Here are just a couple examples of a situation you could be better prepared for.

Insurance-related issues
You get in a car accident. What steps do you take immediately following a car accident? In the event of a serious accident, how much insurance is necessary to cover me so that my assets are protected? What coverage for my home and auto is necessary and what is a waste of money? How about umbrella policies? What about life insurance? How much life insurance coverage do I get? Is term or whole life better?

Lose your job
You just got fired. You have a mortgage and two kids and not much money in the bank. What steps can you take to keep afloat until you can get another job?

There are plenty of other shitty situations in life that a person could be more prepared for. This class would definitely help.

Job Interviewing

I know that some schools offer the class. In fact my wife took it in college and said it was the only class she has actually used in her professional career. But perhaps this should be a mandatory class.

Kids coming out of college don’t know the right steps on interviews. I know I didn’t. As someone who interviews a lot of college interns in my job, I see that firsthand. I constantly see kids completely unprepared, who know nothing about the organization they are interviewing to work for. I see many who don’t dress properly and many who don’t send thank you notes.  Many people’s resumes are so poorly crafted, they can’t even get a shot at an interview. Since college is supposed to prepare student’s for their careers, it only makes sense that this class be required for all students. This class would have been a lot more handy than the nine credits of Theology I had to take at the Catholic school I attended. Sorry, Jesus, but it’s true.

Have any other fictional college classes that you wish you could have taken? Leave a comment in the comment section!


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1 Comment

  1. Big E says:

    There needs to be some course that relates your major to what you will actually do with it in the real world. One that shows you what you will do to acheive financial independence and a reasonable pursuit of happiness.
    I see many college students with untenable majors that guarantee them work in the restaurant field. Nothing wrong with restaurant work if that’s your choice, but if that’s your choice go to a culinary school. Don’t major in Pre-dynastic Chinese History and end up bitter because you can’t get a corner office at Affluent, Poser, and Snob (well-known corporate firm) and have to bartend or wait tables while you sort out your mistake.
    The huge unfairness is that at the most naive, ignorant, hormone-driven place you will ever be in your adult life, you are asked to pick a path for your life’s journey.

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