This has been an absolutely brutal winter throughout the majority of the United States. The Northeast has been hit particularly hard, with Old Man Winter metaphorically ass-raping us with frigid temperatures and record-breaking snow fall. Here in New York, it seems like we’ve been getting hit with a major storm just about every week. It’s been rough to say the least.
Whenever humans are tested and pushed to their limit, (like we have this winter) we tend to see both the best and the worst of people. Sure, many people have done great things, like shovel an elderly person’s walkway or help a stranded car out of the snow. But here at Living with Balls I prefer to spotlight the idiots who come out whenever it snows. Yup, that’s right. It’s time for another edition of Random Guys I Want to Punch in the Face….Winter Edition!
The Snow Lover Who Tells Everyone to Stop Complaining about the Snow Guy
Most adults hate snow. It makes everything more complicated. We have to get up earlier than usual to shovel our walk and clear the car, so we can get to work on time. We have to bring a change of shoes, so our feet aren’t soaked all day. We have to worry about skidding out on the roads or having our travel plans disrupted. Yet there is always some grown man who is SUPER excited for snow. Check out an actual status update that a Facebook “friend” of mine wrote…
“why are people complaining about snow falling in the winter time? No one ever says why is the sun is out again in July? Enjoy it…”
Enjoy it? What the fuck is there to enjoy about it? I’m not fucking six. I don’t plan on making snow angels in the front yard or having a snowball fight with my friends. You know why no one ever complains about the sun in July? Because the sun is awesome. Who doesn’t like sunlight? This is a stupid fucking analogy. It makes no sense and I feel dumber for reading it.
Maybe this should be my reply to his status update: “I threw my back out shoveling snow, crashed my car and had my flight get cancelled but enjoy it! The snow is so pretty!”
…and yes, snowfall is very majestic looking at first…but if you live in any major city like I do, that lasts for about 15 minutes and then all the snow turns black with dirt and grime—and it stays that way until March when it finally melts.
So shut your mouth Snow Lover who Tells Everyone to Stop Complaining about the Snow Guy before I shut it for you! (more…)