Posts belonging to Category Money

Two years ago, I was struggling to decide on what team to bet in the Super Bowl so I decided to consult my good luck charm—my wife.  My wife, Mrs. Sacks, knows next to nothing about football.  Yet amazingly, she accurately predicted the Packers would defeat the Steelers in Super Bowl 45.   The next year I decided to try my luck again, and this time, she not only predicted that the Giants would cover the spread but that they would win outright over the Patriots in Super Bowl 46.

So here am I again trying to pick between two evenly-matched teams.  I’m having trouble deciding between the 49ers and the Ravens.  So for a third straight year, I’m looking to my wife, who doesn’t know the difference between a punt and field goal, to handicap the Super Bowl.  Here’s how the conversation went (This conversation is completely real).

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It seems like you cannot watch a professional sporting event these days without being bombarded by advertisements. A NFL coach challenges a play and we see an ad for the Coors Light Freeze Frame. The 15th out of a baseball game is recorded and you are reminded that GEICO can save you 15 percent on car insurance. We watch, what we think is a slam dunk contest, but when Blake Griffin jumps over car, we are really just seeing a cleverly disguised ad for Kia. It’s already out of control— and it’s about to get worse….

The NBA recently announced they would begin to allow advertisements on jerseys beginning in the 2013-14 season. The NBA Board of Governors approved the use of 2” x 2” patches, which they estimate will generate an additional $100 million dollars in revenue.

This is probably just the beginning. All it takes is for one major sports organization to do this. It’s only a matter of time before other major professional sports follow suit. Though Bud Selig, the commissioner of MLB, has already gone on record in saying he wouldn’t allow that. But he’s retiring soon and how do we know the next commissioner will feel the same way? (more…)

If you are one of the dozens of people who frequent this site and didn’t just find LWB while searching to find out if a girl you are texting with likes you, then you probably noticed I haven’t been posting much lately—and the posts I have made have, admittedly, not been up to my standards.

Well there was a good reason for that.  My wife and I recently closed on our first home.  The process was an exhausting one and the closer we got to the closing, the harder it was to focus on anything else.

We are settled in our new home now (if you count the stacks of my wife’s clothes still sitting in boxes around the house as settled) so I now I have a little more time to get back to writing.  Now that things are a little more calm, I’ve had a chance to reflect on the life-changing experience I had to endure over the past couple months.

I’m certainly glad to have my own home now but there were many stressful times along the way and many people that I wanted to punch in the face.  So with that in mind, its time for another edition of Random Guys I Want to Punch in the Face! (more…)

We tip for many services in this country on nearly a daily basis. Over the years, I’ve observed that our tipping etiquette has gotten out of whack. We over-tip for some services and under-tip for others.

In this post I’ve analyzed some major services we receive regularly and shown exactly how gratuity has become disproportionate.

It all starts with bartenders who are the main reasons for the inequality…

BARTENDERS
Bartenders benefit from generous tipping more than any other service. Think about it…Let’s say I order a $4 beer from the bartender. For the bartender taking the cap off the bottle or pouring me a draft, I’m expected to give a $1 tip. That is a 25 percent tip! When you consider that a monkey could probably be taught to do this, the gratuity seems pretty steep. Now if you were to order a more complicated drink that takes a level of skill to make (i.e. a martini), then a tip is warranted. Though even for that, 25 percent seems a bit much.

What’s even more annoying is when bars charge an uneven dollar amount for their beer. Let’s say the price of the beer is $4.50. I hand the bartender $5 dollars and I’m given 50 cents back in change. What the heck am I supposed to do with 50 cents? I can’t tip 50 cents because it looks cheap to leave change. So now I have to reach into my pocket and get another dollar for a tip and I’m left with 50 cents, which will probably end up on the floor of my car or in between my couch cushions. (more…)

It seems like every day there is some new big product or service out there that promises to be the next big thing.  Sometimes these ideas take off, sometimes they don’t.  Sometimes these products do well despite the fact they have no practical use for any logical human being on the planet Earth. The first edition of Terrible Ideas that Make Money was a great success, so it’s time for the second edition.  Here are six more products I’ve enjoyed making fun of.

Royal Heirloom Ring

Prince William and Kate Middleton and are getting married…and to commemorate the special occasion the “British Historical Society” is allowing a replica of Princess Diana’s engagement ring to be sold to dumb American consumers.

This replica is complete crap. It has something called simulated diamonds and is probably just slightly better quality than something you’d get in a 25-cent vending machine at the supermarket.

But this guy with a British accent sounds really smart, so this must be amazing! He says really sophisticated phrases like “19 dollars 90,”scintillating brilliant cut diamonds” and “hinged decorative velveteen box.” (more…)

Gas prices are on the rise again.   The average price of gas is $3.77 (as of 4/11/11) and companies are looking for any excuse to raise prices even more.   The market is so volatile right now, it seems like every time a Middle Eastern dictator has a loose stool, the price goes up another dime.

Everyone is well aware of this problem.  However, there is another issue related to gas prices that no one is talking about.  I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in this country, or at least in the area where I live.  It’s getting harder and harder to find a gas station that doesn’t charge higher prices for customers who pay with a credit card.

These gas stations are very subtle about it.  You may not even notice.   But if you look closely, there are often two sets of prices at the pump—and the higher one is for customers using credit cards.  You may not realize this as you pull into the station, because the sign visible from the street only reflects the cash price.

Let me tell you something that is fairly obvious.  This is FUCKING BULLSHIT. (more…)

Let’s imagine for a second you are fortunate enough to be a multi-millionaire…and let’s say you are also fortunate to meet the love of your life and that you want to marry her.  After much deliberation you’ve determined the budget for your engagement ring will be $1 million.

Now the question is: Where would you go to buy the ring?  Maybe you’d shop at Tiffany’s or Cartier or some other top-of-the-line jeweler.

But how about Costco?  I bet the thought of buying an engagement ring at Costco, let alone an insanely expensive ring, has never crossed anyone’s mind.

But here it is.  Right on the web site: A $1 MILLION DOLLAR ENGAGEMENT RING…  AT FRIGGIN’ COSTCO!

Based on the specifications this might just be one of the best rings in the world.  It is 6.77 carats, is colorless and boasts a clarity rating of IF (internally flawless).  Not only that but the ring is valued at $1.5 million dollars.  Act now and you can save 33% off the retail price!  You can’t beat these deals at Costco!

Unfortunately, Costco only has one in stock but if you are thinking about buying it, I wouldn’t worry about someone else beating you too it.  I can’t imagine a rich entrepreneur or celebrity, or anyone for that matter ever going engagement ring shopping at Costco.

Costco probably has held this ring in its possession for years and is desperate to move it, so they knocked $500,000 off the price.  I bet it’s been sitting in a warehouse for years somewhere behind skids of family packs of toilet paper.

Thanks to contributor Don Valdez for the tip.

The word gay has evolved over the years.   Back in the day it was a word for happy and jovial.  Then it became a word to describe a man who is sexually attracted to another man.  But recently, it’s also taken on new meaning.  The term gay now refers to something that is lame, stupid or effeminate.

For example, a guy may something like “Dude, Steve just got a manicure. How gay is that?… or “You’re wearing a fanny pack? Wow man. That is super Gay.”

In a new original Living with Balls series, I will take a close look at something that may be perceived as “gay” (in the most recent definition) among fellow men and determine if it truly is gay or if it’s a perfectly manly thing to do.

Today’s first topic is bringing a bagged lunch to work.

In these tough economic times, many people are opting to bring a bagged lunch to work, rather than going out for food on a lunch break.   It’s a great way to save money.   Instead of wasting your hard earned money at a restaurant, you spend a few bucks on some deli meat and pocket the savings.  If you go out for lunch everyday, at minimum you are spending 40 bucks a week, where as if you bring a bagged lunch, you are probably spending half that.

Yet, walking into work with a brown paper bag seems so emasculating.   (more…)

I was attending a friend’s bachelor party recently, and like many bachelor parties, there were strippers involved. As expected, a naked woman eventually approached me, bent over in front of me and shook her bare ass in front of my face. Naturally, I milked this for as long as possible before placing a crisp dollar bill inside her g-string as a token of my appreciation.

As I wedged the dollar bill in between her underwear and her ass, something suddenly occured to me: STRIPPERS ARE UNDERPAID.

How did I come to this realization? Allow me to explain:

Since the beginning of strip clubs, strippers have been paid in dollar bills. The years have come and gone and little has changed. Inflation has gradually weakened the dollar and increased the cost of living, yet strippers continue to be paid in dollar bills. (more…)

Going on a job interview is never a fun experience.  It can be nerve-wracking, stressful and full of pressure.  Most people are forced to resort to lying during interviews because telling the truth would reveal quite a few flaws.  On the other side, the interviewer usually ask a number of bogus questions that are either totally irrelevant or require a response that will be a complete lie.

In this post, I will be listing a number of bullshit questions and answers. You’ll hear why it’s a stupid question, the bullshit response most people probably give, as well as the response most people are thinking but don’t actually say.

1. What is Your Greatest Weakness?
This is the king of bullshit questions at a job interview.  In the history of job interviews, not a single person has ever told the truth.  It’s a totally pointless question to ask because no one would ever give a straight answer. No one is going to be honest about their flaws on a job interview because that would severely hurt their chances of getting the job.  You’re always told to say some crap you can turn into a strength such as…

What You Probably Said: I often push myself too hard.  I don’t know how to balance my life because I’m a workaholic.  I’m a perfectionist who has trouble accepting failure.

What You Were Really Thinking: Well let’s see. I’m really lazy.  I usually stroll in to work at least 15 minutes late. I take long lunches and talk bad about my co-workers behind their backs. I am not willing to go the extra mile and I’ll spend most of my day going on Facebook and making personal phone calls.  (more…)