Albert Pujols’ Wife Gets Mad at God for Cardinals’ Insulting Multi-Million Dollar Offer

Albert Pujols and WifeAlbert Pujols shocked the baseball world recently when he shunned the St. Louis Cardinals to take a 10-year, $254 million offer with the Los Angeles Angels.

Many have wondered why Pujols decided to leave St. Louis, a city where he was adored by baseball-crazy fans.

Well, Pujols’ wife, Diedre Pujols, gave a little insight into Albert’s decision during a recent interview with a St. Louis-area Christian radio station.

“When it all came down, I was mad. I was mad at God because I felt like all the signs that had been being played out through the baseball field, our foundation, our restaurant, the Down Syndrome Center, my relationships, my home, my family close,” Diedre Pujols told the station. “I mean, we had no reason, not one reason, to want to leave. People were deceived by the numbers.”

She indicated the key moment was the Cardinals’ initial offer of five years and $130 million.

“When you have somebody say ‘We want you to be a Cardinal for life’ and only offer you a five-year deal, it kind of confused us,” Diedre Pujols said. “Well, we got over that insult and felt like Albert had given so much of himself to baseball and into the community … we didn’t want to go through this again.”

Apparently the Cardinals “insulting” offer had the poor Mrs. Pujols questioning her faith. How could the Pujols family ever survive this hardship? Only 130 million? How will she feed her family? Why does God do BAD things to GOOD people?? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN DIEDRE PUJOLS, LORD?

And there’s no way she could EVER imagine going through difficult ordeal of having several professional baseball organizations throw millions and millions of dollars at her husband in an effort to convince him to play a game for a living. People with cancer must think they have it made when they hear of the struggles that Mr. and Mrs. Pujols have had to endure through this difficult free agency process.

Please…someone insult me with a $130 million dollar offer to play a game. Shit…for that amount of money, I’ll do a lot less enjoyable jobs than play baseball. I will do unspeakable things for that amount of money.

Diedre Pujols later went on to say this…

“It’s just like God,” she said at the end of the interview, “to put us on a team called the Angels.”

OHHH PLEEEEASE!!!…Even Tim Tebow thinks this statement is ridiculous. I find it highly unlikely that God used his divine intervention to put the Angels in a better position to win the pennant. Those types of stories only happen in the movies (and Denver Broncos games)…and they already made that film. Perhaps this will be the sequel to Angels in the Outfield. We’ll call it Angels at the Bargaining Table.

4 comments for “Albert Pujols’ Wife Gets Mad at God for Cardinals’ Insulting Multi-Million Dollar Offer

  1. Don Valdez
    December 16, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    It’s ok. Now that this happened it can come out that Pujols has been on performance enhancing drugs this whole time.

    All aboard the hate train to LA. Stopping at… St. Louis (to pick up torches and pitch forks).

  2. Deuce McGee
    December 17, 2011 at 11:44 am

    Wait. This is made up, right?

  3. December 19, 2011 at 11:47 am

    Well, ESPN is typically a reliable source…so, sadly this is true.

  4. Mr. Cleavage
    December 20, 2011 at 10:12 pm

    I’ve got a hundred bucks sez God gave her nipples that are big and brown…any takers??

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