Articles from April 2011

In what might possibly be the most awkward moment of all-time, high profile attorney Gloria Allred decided to demonstrate anal sex with a baseball bat in front of small children at a press conference on Thursday.

Yes you read that sentence correctly.

Allred was reenacting a recent incident involving Atlanta Braves pitching coach Roger McDowell, where McDowell made homophobic slurs and gestures toward some fans.

Take a look at the video…

There is so much to love about this video but here are a few of my favorite parts… (more…)

We tip for many services in this country on nearly a daily basis. Over the years, I’ve observed that our tipping etiquette has gotten out of whack. We over-tip for some services and under-tip for others.

In this post I’ve analyzed some major services we receive regularly and shown exactly how gratuity has become disproportionate.

It all starts with bartenders who are the main reasons for the inequality…

BARTENDERS
Bartenders benefit from generous tipping more than any other service. Think about it…Let’s say I order a $4 beer from the bartender. For the bartender taking the cap off the bottle or pouring me a draft, I’m expected to give a $1 tip. That is a 25 percent tip! When you consider that a monkey could probably be taught to do this, the gratuity seems pretty steep. Now if you were to order a more complicated drink that takes a level of skill to make (i.e. a martini), then a tip is warranted. Though even for that, 25 percent seems a bit much.

What’s even more annoying is when bars charge an uneven dollar amount for their beer. Let’s say the price of the beer is $4.50. I hand the bartender $5 dollars and I’m given 50 cents back in change. What the heck am I supposed to do with 50 cents? I can’t tip 50 cents because it looks cheap to leave change. So now I have to reach into my pocket and get another dollar for a tip and I’m left with 50 cents, which will probably end up on the floor of my car or in between my couch cushions. (more…)

It seems like every day there is some new big product or service out there that promises to be the next big thing.  Sometimes these ideas take off, sometimes they don’t.  Sometimes these products do well despite the fact they have no practical use for any logical human being on the planet Earth. The first edition of Terrible Ideas that Make Money was a great success, so it’s time for the second edition.  Here are six more products I’ve enjoyed making fun of.

Royal Heirloom Ring

Prince William and Kate Middleton and are getting married…and to commemorate the special occasion the “British Historical Society” is allowing a replica of Princess Diana’s engagement ring to be sold to dumb American consumers.

This replica is complete crap. It has something called simulated diamonds and is probably just slightly better quality than something you’d get in a 25-cent vending machine at the supermarket.

But this guy with a British accent sounds really smart, so this must be amazing! He says really sophisticated phrases like “19 dollars 90,”scintillating brilliant cut diamonds” and “hinged decorative velveteen box.” (more…)

Gas prices are on the rise again.   The average price of gas is $3.77 (as of 4/11/11) and companies are looking for any excuse to raise prices even more.   The market is so volatile right now, it seems like every time a Middle Eastern dictator has a loose stool, the price goes up another dime.

Everyone is well aware of this problem.  However, there is another issue related to gas prices that no one is talking about.  I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in this country, or at least in the area where I live.  It’s getting harder and harder to find a gas station that doesn’t charge higher prices for customers who pay with a credit card.

These gas stations are very subtle about it.  You may not even notice.   But if you look closely, there are often two sets of prices at the pump—and the higher one is for customers using credit cards.  You may not realize this as you pull into the station, because the sign visible from the street only reflects the cash price.

Let me tell you something that is fairly obvious.  This is FUCKING BULLSHIT. (more…)

I have a terrible habit.

Anytime I’m feeling sick or experiencing pain for a prolonged amount of time, the first thing I do is go to my computer, visit WebMD.com, and use their symptom checker tool to try and figure out what may be wrong with me.  For whatever reason I decide to do this before going to an actual doctor.

This has turned me into a raving hypochondriac.

The problem with WebMD is that its symptom checker rules out nothing. According to WebMD, the smallest symptom could be anything from a minor ailment to impending death.  Let me show you some examples…

Let’s say I’ve been experiencing some lower back pain lately.  I go to their symptom checker, plug in the symptom and this what I get. (more…)

In a shameless attempt to generate more page views, every so often I will link to some of the best posts on Living with Balls. These are a combination of the most popular posts and my personal favorites.

Here are the top posts from the first quarter of 2011

Is it Gay?: Owining a Cat

Random Guys I Want to Punch in the Face: Winter Edition

A Flowchart for Nicknaming NBA Superstar Teammates

Get Your Million Dollar Engagement Ring at Costco

My Realistic New Year’s Resolutions

Find Out “How Players Do It”