Articles from December 2010

It’s been a fun year at Living with Balls. Here are the ten best posts of 2010. The top 10 posts are based on the most viewed, the most commented and my personal favorites. There is no particular order. Feel free to share your favorite post from 2010 in the comment section.

Bullshit Job Interview Questions and Answers

Instant Message Etiquette for Men

Tits or Ass?: The Great Debate

Terrible NFL Quarterback Photos

Rap Lyrics Translated for White People: Volume III

Terrible Ideas that Make Money

Random Guys I want to Punch in the Face: Anchorman Edition

Random Guys I want to Punch in the Face: Wedding Edition

How to Slay the Period Monster

Trying to Explain Lost

So I’m watching television recently and I see this ridiculous commercial for a vibrator by Trojan called the Triphoria. In the commercial, a bride-to-be is at a bridal shower when she discovers that three of her friends all bought her the same vibrator as a gift. This part of the commercial is kind of funny but it’s not really the part that confuses me. (Although the fact that I saw this commercial multiple times on Christmas Day is confusing enough. God knows how many small children saw this during the Star Wars marathon on Spike. I can only imagine those conversations: “Mommy, what’s a vibrator?”)

At the very end of the commercial, the woman goes back home to tell her fiancé the exciting news: that she got, not one…not two…but three vibrators!

Check out the fiance’s reaction to this news…

Why is this man so excited that his future wife received three vibrators!? (more…)

Every few months I like to take a look at Google Analytics and see what search terms have brought people to my site. With the number of articles I’ve posted constantly going up and my authority with Google increasing, I am seeing more and more crazy Google searches.

I last did this in June, so here are some of the outrageous searches that have brought people to Living with Balls since then. As always, I have not made a single one of these up. I have only fixed misspellings and grammar. I’ve also taken the time to break these down into categories.

Needless to say, a site called “Living with Balls,” that talks about farts, porn and uses multiple synonyms when describing the female anatomy allows for some wild search results.  Brace yourself…

The answer is yes
Do men like when a woman’s tits flop around during sex?

The answer is no
Is it ok to wear a midriff if you have a muffin top? (more…)

This is article is the “Links of the Week” segment for December 15, 2010

Taylor Swift, America’s favorite sweetheart, recently performed a rap with T-Payne. Yes you read that right.  Here’s my favorite line (and by favorite I mean the worst possible line in the history of rap):

“I’m so gangsta, you can see me baking cookies at night. You out clubbin,’ well I just made caramel delight.”

WOW.  You cannot make this stuff up.  The only question I have is:  Who required more auto-tune? T-Payne or Taylor Swift? (more…)

Here’s a conversation with Don Valdez about a NFL transaction that went largely unnoticed…

Don Valdez: Tight End on the Detroit Lions was put on Injured Reserve today…Richard Dickson.

Johnny Sacks: So?

Don Valdez: Who named that guy?  They had to have known—Dick Dickson.

Johnny Sacks: I didn’t even pick up on that.  That’s awesome.   There was actually a college player a couple years ago named Lucious Pusey.

Don Valdez: No way.  That’s ridiculous…redickulous actually…  He’s a linebacker. It be great if he lined up to cover Richard Dickson.

Johnny Sacks: That would be fitting.

Don Valdez: It would be.  Considering Lucious never made it to the NFL… I would assume… Richard Dickson would tear right through Lucious Pusey.  I’m convinced. (more…)

The word gay has evolved over the years.   Back in the day it was a word for happy and jovial.  Then it became a word to describe a man who is sexually attracted to another man.  But recently, it’s also taken on new meaning.  The term gay now refers to something that is lame, stupid or effeminate.

For example, a guy may something like “Dude, Steve just got a manicure. How gay is that?… or “You’re wearing a fanny pack? Wow man. That is super Gay.”

In a new original Living with Balls series, I will take a close look at something that may be perceived as “gay” (in the most recent definition) among fellow men and determine if it truly is gay or if it’s a perfectly manly thing to do.

Today’s first topic is bringing a bagged lunch to work.

In these tough economic times, many people are opting to bring a bagged lunch to work, rather than going out for food on a lunch break.   It’s a great way to save money.   Instead of wasting your hard earned money at a restaurant, you spend a few bucks on some deli meat and pocket the savings.  If you go out for lunch everyday, at minimum you are spending 40 bucks a week, where as if you bring a bagged lunch, you are probably spending half that.

Yet, walking into work with a brown paper bag seems so emasculating.   (more…)

Before the season started, I gave you amazing fantasy football advice, telling you to pass over the top QBs and take Philip Rivers instead. I later predicted Arian Foster to be a breakout fantasy football player. Rivers and Foster are two of the top-ranked players in fantasy football this season.

Then, I subtlety started an NFL Pick of the Week, where I selected one team which I thought had the best chance to cover the spread and win you some money. Amazingly, after 12 weeks I am 9-3! I can’t believe it myself. When it comes to NFL betting, you should be taking my advice. Don’t waste your time reading scouting reports and analyzing stats. Just come right here, read a few funny posts and get a winning pick.  The pick is on the top right sidebar.

Sadly, I have not won a dime off my amazing run since I haven’t actually bet on any of these games myself.  I’m afraid if I start I’ll go on a losing streak.

This week, I like the Rams -3 over the Cardinals.  (more…)

Having a hard time getting laid in college?  You might have better luck in the future.

A California University of Pennsylvania student has plans to start a web site where students can find other coeds who are looking for sexual partners.

The site, which is scheduled to launch in March 2011, is called RUD2F.com—which for you acronym-challenged people stands for Are You Down to Fuck?  The site’s slogan is “Safer than Craig’s List and Cheaper than Bars.”

Sounds like a cool idea in theory (although if you can’t get laid in college the old-fashioned way, then you might as well just give up).   Yet I have a feeling it might not work that well.  We all know that most women can get sex whenever they please—especially in college.  All a moderately-attractive college girl needs to do to meet a guy is to wear something sexy at the bar and wait for a guy to approach her.  Men are the ones that have the challenge. My guess is this site will be filled with a bunch of horny, desperate males and slutty, fat chicks. At least they should benefit from it. (more…)