Articles from April 2010

The Kentucky Derby is famous for being the fastest two minutes in sports. Perhaps it’s even more famous for the drunken escapades that take place in the infield. One tradition that seems to be growing over the years is the drunken port-a-potty run. In honor of this weekend’s Kentucky Derby, here are some great moments in the Kentucky Derby Port-a-Potty runs.

Guy in his Underwear Makes the Run (more…)

Today, we have our first solo post from Don Valdez, AKA DV from the 24 Mockery feature…

Why am I a Mets fan?  When I was about four years old my father threw me a bag and said if you catch this you get to keep what’s inside.  I dropped the bag twice.  On the third time I did catch the bag and inside was a Mets hat.

162 days out of the year I ask myself… Why I did I accept this gift when I clearly dropped the bag twice?   The baseball gods were clearly trying to help me out.  Alas, I ignored their signs.  And here I am.

Were there good times?  Of course there were good times.   Were there bad times?  No.  Simply saying there were bad times would be a horrific understatement.

This will likely turn into a recurring article—as every few days I plan on confessing I am a Mets fan and how much it blows.

April 29^th 2010 – Today’s Confession… I Hate the Mets… (more…)

Going on a job interview is never a fun experience.  It can be nerve-wracking, stressful and full of pressure.  Most people are forced to resort to lying during interviews because telling the truth would reveal quite a few flaws.  On the other side, the interviewer usually ask a number of bogus questions that are either totally irrelevant or require a response that will be a complete lie.

In this post, I will be listing a number of bullshit questions and answers. You’ll hear why it’s a stupid question, the bullshit response most people probably give, as well as the response most people are thinking but don’t actually say.

1. What is Your Greatest Weakness?
This is the king of bullshit questions at a job interview.  In the history of job interviews, not a single person has ever told the truth.  It’s a totally pointless question to ask because no one would ever give a straight answer. No one is going to be honest about their flaws on a job interview because that would severely hurt their chances of getting the job.  You’re always told to say some crap you can turn into a strength such as…

What You Probably Said: I often push myself too hard.  I don’t know how to balance my life because I’m a workaholic.  I’m a perfectionist who has trouble accepting failure.

What You Were Really Thinking: Well let’s see. I’m really lazy.  I usually stroll in to work at least 15 minutes late. I take long lunches and talk bad about my co-workers behind their backs. I am not willing to go the extra mile and I’ll spend most of my day going on Facebook and making personal phone calls.  (more…)

This is a historic day for Living with Balls. For the first time in LWB history, we have a female contributor. Bejewell who has a blog called The Bean, has agreed to do a guest post. Her blog is one of my personal favorites so I’m very excited to have her on board.

As you can see by the title, she has an interesting sense of humor. Check out her awesome skit below…

Bejewell: I’m doing research about balls.

Husband: Why are you researching balls?

Bejewell: Because I’m writing a guest post for John.

Husband: Who’s John?

Bejewell: John is a guy with a blog called “Living With Balls.”

Husband: John has a blog about his balls?

Bejewell: Yeah.  Well, I mean, it’s not JUST about balls.  It’s about all kinds of man stuff. (more…)

When it’s time to name your company or product, if you don’t account for all of the possible double entendres, misreadings, misspellings, language and cultural translations, than this picture to my left could happen to you.  There are 59 other hilarious business names here.

More Great Links, Tweets and Video Clips (more…)

I’ve lived my entire life in New York.  As a proud New Yorker, I get ticked when I hear the numerous New Yorker stereotypes.  Here at Living with Balls, I’ve decided to put these stereotypes to rest.  For all you non-New Yorkers reading this, I’m going to teach you which New York stereotypes are true and which are false.

New York has the Worst Drivers
FALSE
New York has the BEST drivers.  You have to be a good driver to get around in New York City; otherwise you’ll get driven off the road.  Any schmuck can drive in a straight line down Route 80 with no traffic.  New York provides the most challenging driving situations in the country.  

Try maneuvering through the Long Island Expressway during rush hour when you are late for work.  Try navigating around bumper-to-bumper traffic on the Major Deegan when you are trying to get to Yankee Stadium by a 7:05 first pitch.  Try making a left-hand turn, while avoiding oncoming traffic and pedestrians in the cross walk, all while some impatient driver holds on his horn behind you.  It takes GREAT drivers to do this.

The only reason people think New Yorkers can’t drive is because there are so many of us.  The greater the number of people, the greater chance some idiot will be on the road.  We do have some idiots drivers but the percentage is no greater than any other state. (more…)

When you turn on any regional network, you’re bound to see plenty of local commercials.  Due to the small budget many of these companies have, these commercials are usually pretty awful.  Whether it’s poor acting or ridiculous dialogue, these commercials can be so bad, they are actually comical.  In a new LWB feature, I’ll be mocking some local commercials.

Today’s local commercial is the Slomin’s Shield.  The Slomin’s Shield sells home security systems and has a reputation for cheesy commercials.  This recent number tops the list.

There are three “vignettes” in this commercial, with each showing what life is like without the Slomin Shield and what it’s like with it.  It is a trifecta of horrendous acting.  I’ve seen school plays with better acting than this.  Take a look and see for yourself. (more…)

Do you like to drink but you don’t like those empty calories? Do you want to enjoy yourself during happy hour without the worry of putting on excess pounds? What drinks will get you drunk the fastest, while providing the fewest number of calories? All these questions can be answered at the The Efficient Drinker.

I came across the web site the other day and it will change the way I order drinks at the bar. The site has created an efficiency ratio to determine which beers will achieve the desired result of alcohol (getting drunk), while providing the fewest number of calories. (more…)

With the Masters going on this weekend, all eyes are on Tiger Woods. How will he respond to all the pressure? Kissing Suzy Kolber felt that Tiger Woods needed a little extra motivation and came up with this hilarious skit, featuring everyone’s favorite motivational speaker. 

This is a beefed up Links of the Week. From now on, in addition to some great links from around the blogosphere, I will be including a featured video and some funny tweets as well. (more…)

So after a long debate, I have decided that I will no longer be doing the Celebrity Tweet of the Week feature.  It doesn’t really fall into the niche of this blog and fails to generate many pageviews.  But mainly, I just hate doing it.  My twitter feed is clogged up with all sorts of celebrities I have no desire to follow.  The task of trying to find funny tweets has also grown tiresome. 

So I’ve decided to put an end to it. UNLESS there is a huge outcry for it in the comment section.  So if you truly enjoy this feature, let me know about it and if several people want me to keep it, I’ll consider it.

There are some other alternatives as well such as: (more…)