A couple weeks have passed since my wedding day and the craziness is finally behind me. Now that I’ve had time to reflect on the whirlwind that was the past few months of my life, I’ve realized I’ve learned a whole lot. Now I will pass on what I’ve learned about weddings, both from the Bride and Groom’s perspective and from a guest’s perspective to you.
ADVICE FOR THE BRIDE AND GROOM
1. When it comes to gifts, some are extremely generous, some are unbelievably cheap and some are just plain weird.
2. Don’t waste all your money (or in my case, her father’s money) on an extravagant cocktail hour. You’ll likely be taking pictures the entire time and chances are you won’t even make it there. Don’t spend the $8 per person charge for the chocolate fountain because you probably won’t get a taste.
3. Don’t be surprised if you don’t have sex on your wedding night. When I finally returned to my room, the last thing I wanted to do was have sex. It was 3 a.m. and I barely got any sleep the night before because I was a nervous wreck. I had been running around since the beginning of the day and I spent the past few hours dancing and drinking too much alcohol. I could barely move I was so tired.
Plus, let’s be honest—it’s 2010. Very few of us wait until our wedding night to consummate the relationship. So it’s really not a big deal if you don’t have sex.
4. Definitely take a day or two to recover before going on your honeymoon. You’re going to need that time to relax after the craziness of the past few days. TRUST ME. You’re not going to want to hop on a plane the day after your wedding. This is the one thing, I’m happy to say, we did right.
5. Definitely take at least two weeks off for your honeymoon, perhaps even longer if you can pull it off. At no other time in your life can you get away with taking that much time off from work without getting shit from your boss or getting fired. So take advantage of it! You’ll never get that much time off again!
6. On your honeymoon, be sure to tell every person you run into that you are honeymooners. Tell every waiter, every driver and every hotel staff member you interact with. You’ll be amazed at how much free stuff you’ll receive. You’ll get free desserts, complimentary champagne and perhaps even an upgrade or two. From now on, I’m going to start telling people that it’s my honeymoon, no matter where I am. I don’t care if I’m at Chilli’s in New Jersey, I’m telling the waitress we’re on our honeymoon. Maybe I’ll get a free blooming onion out of it.
ADVICE FOR THE GUESTS
1. Don’t waste your time picking out a meaningful card. The bride and groom won’t even look at it. They’ll just go straight for the cash. If anything, get a blank card and write a nice personal message telling the happy couple how awesome they are.
2. Don’t get offended if the bride and groom don’t get a chance to talk to you at the reception. As a guest, I used to get annoyed by this. But after going through it, I now realize how difficult it is to talk to every one of the guests. The bride and groom are being pulled in ten different directions the entire night by the DJ, the photographer and 30 cousins who want to congratulate them and ask where they are going for their honeymoon. So just be a little understanding.
3. Don’t buy the couple something that isn’t on their registry. There’s a reasons it’s not on there. They either have it already or they don’t want it. If you do buy a gift that isn’t on their registry, definitely include a gift receipt because chances are they’ll be returning it.
4. It’s ok to consider the groom for once when buying a wedding gift. Why is it that all wedding gifts are tailored towards women? It’s hard for me to get excited about a bread maker or a cheese platter. How about a video game, a tool set, or a subscription to Brazzers?
If you find yourself in Maui for your honeymoon, don’t do the Road to Hana unless you are a nature freak. Sure there was plenty of beautiful scenery on the drive, but I couldn’t even look at it because I was so focused on not driving off a cliff. There is plenty of beauty in Hawaii. You don’t need to drive three hours in each direction through a treacherous one lane highway to see a couple waterfalls.
To read the rest of the wedding series posts click here
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